


BITE

by ABlueLightInTheDark



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angst, Anxiety, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Luke is a Good Alpha, M/M, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Poor Simon, Protective Raphael, Raphael is a good guy, Raphael is still a vampire, Saphael, Violence, Werewolf Simon, he has to suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:43:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7189472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABlueLightInTheDark/pseuds/ABlueLightInTheDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world around him had been dipped in red. Not the nice, soothing kind of sunset red, the bad, horrific, angry red of spilled blood. </p><p>And then everything turned into a nightmare that he couldn’t remember the details of anymore, just his heart beating abnormally fast out of anger, pain, fear and adrenaline.<br/>Simon remembered snapping jaws and horrifying growls and the taste of diseased blood in his mouth.<br/>He remembered crushing something between his teeth, ripping something open without thinking about it, his body moving by itself, blood flooding the ground, the smell of death filling the air.<br/>Or </p><p>Simon gets turned into a werewolf and can't handle it. Fortunately a very conflicted vampire is there to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's go for a walk down Easy Street Where you can be reborn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Java1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java1/gifts).



> So... Again, sadly not a prompt fill for the people on tumblr. I'm really sorry, they will come!  
> But I have started writing this weeks ago, when the lovely Java1 came to me with the great idea of werewolf!Simon.  
> So here you go, I hope you enjoy this angsty piece of whatever!
> 
> -Blue-
> 
> WARNINGS: This chapter contains graphic description of violence. So if you can't handle that or feel triggered by it, please don't read it and wait till the next chapter gets uploaded. Other than that, English is not my mother language, so if you find some mistakes tell me about them in the comments! Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon get's turned and can't really handle it.

The streets were dark and it was so cold that Simon’s breath turned into small white frozen clouds in front of him.  
He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to suppress a shiver as the wind blew into his neck and made his way under his sweater, letting goosebumps appear all over his skin. 

Simon cursed himself for forgetting his jacket, but he had already been late when he ran out of his small apartment to get to his night-classes at time. Now he was on his way back home again, regretting that he hadn’t taken the time to go back. 

It really was very cold for october and his sweater wasn’t as warm as it should be, so he speed up his pace, nearly running through the dark alley he just stepped in.  
There were only a few, dimly lit street lamps, which didn’t provide much light at all and they started flickering as soon as Simon walked past them. 

He tried to ignore it, but his eyes darted around nervously; he felt like he was being watched.  
Maybe it was just his usual paranoia - Clary had told him countless times that he should just stop thinking about it, but he couldn’t. It somehow felt different - a bad kind of different. The kind of different that made his skin crawl, his breath quicken and his fingers twitch. 

There was a soft thud audible behind him and Simon spun around in horror, his heartbeat increasing so fast that he was scared his heart would spring right out of his chest.

What he saw in front of him made his mouth fall open for a scream that didn’t come and so he just stared, frozen in fear.

Green eyes, furious murky green eyes were all Simon could focus on as he finally got himself to move, jumping back with a cry of fear, not able to look away from those glowing eyes.

It was a wolf.  
He'd seen wolves before, but nothing like _this_.

This wolf was huge, bigger than any wolf he'd ever seen, even on pictures. Shaggy black and bristled fur, long, sharp teeth, shown in an terrifying growl and those horrific eyes… It looked like something right out of a nightmare or a horror movie. 

As the wolf stepped forward under the streetlight, Simon quickly scooted back, only to freeze as he noticed the sick foam spilling from the things mouth, dripping onto the ground in white specks.

"Rabies" was the first thing that shot through his head and he desperately looked around, searching for a way out, but of course in his panic he had ended up in a dead end and there was no where for him to go. 

„P-pleas…please..." Simon didn't know who or what he was begging for, but it didn't matter anyway, because suddenly the wolf lunged at him, hitting him like a truck the moment the words left his mouth and Simon screamed as it's teeth dug into his shoulder, tearing his flesh apart and breaking his bones.  
Pain overcame Simon’s whole body, spreading like a forest-fire, making him scream louder than he ever had in his whole life before.  
The wolf just picked him up easily and shook him as if he were a rag doll.  
Tears of pain started to spill from Simon’s eyes as he could feel something in his back snap, another wave of the worst pain he had ever felt washing over his body, taking over his thoughts.  
A horrific cracking noise filled the night and suddenly all air got knocked out of Simon’s lungs.  
The wolf had thrown him against the wall and Simon coughed up blood while he tried to move away from the threat, in too much shock to realize what other part of his body had been broken.

Seeing the wolf approach him again, Simon stopped moving, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to at least protect his face a bit as he prayed for a quick death, the wolf’s gaze fixating on him like Simon was his prey. 

If asked, Simon would never be able to describe what happened after those most horrific few seconds of his life, while he waited for his life to end.

His blood started to boil, poison running through his veins and addling his mind, before a explosion erupted in his stomach and a searing pain shot through his whole body.  
It felt like he had just drunken acid, his insides convulsed and his mouth fell open in a silent scream.  
Then everything cooled down in the matter of seconds before erupting again and Simon felt like he was getting ripped apart and then stitched together again. The sound of his bones cracking and his skin ripping filled his ears and his eyes rolled back into his head, everything going black for a few moments before he regained consciousness again. 

The world around him had been dipped in red. Not the nice, soothing kind of sunset red, the bad, horrific, angry red of spilled blood. 

And then everything turned into a nightmare that he couldn’t remember the details of anymore, just his heart beating abnormally fast out of anger, pain, fear and adrenaline.  
Simon remembered snapping jaws and horrifying growls and the taste of diseased blood in his mouth.  
He remembered crushing something between his teeth, ripping something open without thinking about it, his body moving by itself, blood flooding the ground, the smell of death filling the air.  
After that he remembered running until he couldn't run anymore, still not able to take in his surroundings and then suddenly exhaustion took over.  
Simon barely managed to pull himself under a wild-growing hedge before he collapsed, falling into a numbing sleep. 

__________________

When he woke up the next day his whole body was aching.  
Wanting to rub his eyes, Simon tried to lift his hand up, but he couldn’t.  
He couldn’t move his fingers and as he opened his mouth to let out a confused “What the hell?“, the words stuck in his throat, making place for a confused whimper. 

Simon scrambled up, his eyes flickering hectically to the left and right before dropping down.  
He didn’t see his hands or his feet, like he normally would have. No, instead he looked right at a pair of scrawny, brown paws, spiked with sharp claws and full of dried, hard blood. 

A yelp escaped him as he jumped backwards, fear rushing through his body as he tried to process what he just saw.  
Simon got out from under the hedge he could barely even remember crawling under and was welcome by rain pouring over him, soaking his whole body. 

Frantically looking around Simon noticed a big puddle of rain on the ground just a few feet away from him and he slowly made his way towards it, trying to get his fear under control.  
Swallowing thickly he stepped even closer and then stared down onto his own reflection, a cry forming in the back of his throat. 

There was nothing left of him. No tanned skin, no glasses, no… human features.  
He stared at the face of a wolf, his ears turned back and long fangs showing, because his snout was pulled up in shock.  
Simon’s usually soft brown eyes now had the color of glowing gold.  
His fur was hanging wet from his scrawny features, but it was the only thing that remembered Simon of his human self. It was the same color as his hair, a dark chocolaty brown, though he now noticed the dark color of blood getting washed out of it by the rain, painting the earth in a watery red.

Simon blinked furiously, knowing that if he had been human he would be crying.  
What the fuck was this bullshit? Why was he a wolf? What had happened? 

His mind was running wild and slowly the memories of the last day started to come back to him.

The dark alley. The wolf. The attack. The pain. The fear. Blurry movements, blood, death. 

Oh god. This… this couldn’t be true. Simon was… he couldn’t be a- a werewolf.  
But that was what had happened, wasn’t it? 

He had been attacked by a _werewolf_ , had been bitten and then turned and now, now he was one of those monsters himself.

Simon wanted to shout out, to scream the fear away that slowly made it’s way up his throat, tightening it and making him stumble.  
He broke down, his small figure falling to the ground, shivering and shaking. 

He was a werewolf. A werewolf. How was that even possible? Werewolves were mythical creatures, they didn’t exist, how could this be real life? It had to be a dream. Just a dream, a horrible nightmare and Simon would wake up soon. 

But deep down he knew that that wasn’t the truth. The truth was this sick reality, this horrific turn of his life. 

Simon whimpered. He would never be able to go back to his family again. To see his friends again.  
He was too scared that he would turn again like yesterday, without control over himself and his actions.  
Simon was pretty sure that he had killed the wolf that had bitten him and the thought made him want to throw up.  
What if something like this happened while he was around his family? No, no he couldn’t go back.  
As much as it hurt, he couldn’t risk putting their life in danger. 

And then there was the even bigger problem: He was a wolf.  
He was in his wolf form, he had no idea how to turn back or what to do, he had no idea where to get food and he still couldn’t- no, _wouldn’t_ accept the fact that this was real life. 

Closing his eyes for a short moment Simon laid his head on his paws and tried to suppress the panic welling up inside of him. 

But it didn’t help. It was even worse with his eyes closed.  
Now he really noticed how not only his appearance but also his senses had changed.  
He could hear so much better, the raindrops falling onto the ground next to him sounded like bullets hitting a wall, the thunderstorm was a battlefield in his ears and the cars in the distance were tanks, roaring and giving him a headache.  
His sense of smell was enhanced too, so that the pungent smell of blood made his stomach turn and the dirty smell of wet fur made him want to rip it off of his body. 

Simon knew that he had to change back into his human form in order to survive since he didn’t know how else to look after himself.  
He left his eyes closed and tried to concentrate. There had to be something that would cause the change.  
Frantically searching for trigger in his mind he suddenly felt the same pain shoot through his body like the day before.  
A horrified yelp escaped him as it felt like his body was set on fire and Simon cried out in pain, the terrifying memories from the attack rushing back into his mind as he remembered the utterly pain and the feeling of getting ripped apart. 

Simon couldn’t bare it anymore. He had in fact found a trigger, but it seemed like it didn’t only trigger the change. It triggered a panic and anxiety attack as well and so he opened his eyes again, stopping the change and then gasped for air as he tried to calm down.  
It didn’t work that well and he found himself curled up into a ball a few minutes later, finally starting to relax a bit. 

When he got on his feet he was shaking and his sight got slightly blurry.  
He needed to feed. The blood loss must have weakened him extremely and his stomach was hurting like hell. 

Slowly he started to make his way through the rain, going over all the places he could go, which where basically… none.  
Simon had nowhere to go, he was what he would have called a stray-dog… well, wolf. 

________________________

 

Simon searched for what felt like years for food and a place to stay.  
It was hard to stay unnoticed outside of the city, but after a while he knew that he needed to try his luck in the city, which was even harder.  
There had been various moments in which he nearly got seen by a human and he even had to run away from a pack of other werewolves. 

He hadn’t noticed (well, smelled) the pack until he had nearly passed them and a horrible panic had started to come up in him. It was definitively not normal to be this scared of his own kind, but he couldn’t help it.  
They didn’t only make him nervous, they scared the crap out of him and he expected them to turn around and kill him any moment, so he had fled as fast as he could, using his last bit of strength to run at high speed into the other direction. 

Now he was tumbling around the corner of an alley, towards his last hope.  
It seemed to be an abandoned hotel, big and dark and _empty_.  
The building smelled horrible, but Simon somehow knew that no one was in there so he first emptied one of the big trash containers in front of it and even found a sandwich that looked edible, before he squeezed himself through a broken window into the hotel. 

The inside was as dark as the outside, but it looked a lot more inhabited than Simon had assumed.  
He didn’t care though, the only thing that mattered to him at the moment was that he had found a place where he was dry and presumably safe. 

Simon sneaked into a more or less empty room, only furnished with a few tables and chairs, and crawled into a corner at the back side of the room, where he gulped down the sandwich before curling himself up into a ball and falling asleep with the knowledge that he would dream of himself turning over and over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is multichaptered, it's going to have a bit more plot than my OS. The story is probably going to be like three to five chapters long, I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> -Next chapter: Raphael and the gang turn up-
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day! Thank you to all the people who leave them!
> 
> Also visit me on tumblr and send me prompts/requests or talk about those dorks with me: ABlueLightInTheDark


	2. The rapture in the dark puts me at ease; The blind eye of the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just Raphael giving empty threats and talking without getting answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Thanks to all people who subscribed and left comments/kudos! You are awesome!

The sun was already starting to creep up behind the horizon when Raphael and the clan finally get back to the hotel. It’s been a long week; the whole clan had to attend a downworlder meeting, where they discussed certain issues like alliances and shit.  
It was boring as fuck, but since Raphael was the clan leader he had to go and since the clan had a say in that, too, they had to go as well. 

Everyone was exhausted. Most of the clan members complained about headaches and lack of sleep and Raphael shooed them into the hotel, confused when they suddenly stopped in the hallway. 

A growl made it’s way through the clan, most of the vampires started to hiss and Raphael closed the door behind them (safety first, he wasn’t exactly eager to get grilled) before making his way to the front where the hissing had started. 

Lily and Elliott were standing there, fangs bared and claws drawn staring moveless at a closed door. Raphael knew it lead to a rather small closet, which did nothing but contribute to his confusion. 

“What are you-“ he stopped, because all of the sudden he smelled it, too.  
The smell of dirty fur, bad breath; the smell of dog.  
Dios… He had had enough of those stupid werewolves for a week. If they just thought they could break into their home and get away with it they were so wrong. 

With a snarl Raphael bared his fangs as well, but before he could start the attack at whoever was in that room, he turned around. 

“Go to your rooms and sleep. Lily and I will take care of this, you don’t have to be concerned.“ he ordered and most of the clan members relaxed visibly, glad that they didn’t have to fight after such a long day.  
They sped away, only Lily remaining by his side and Raphael nodded towards her, before ripping the door open, crashing into the room with an expression on his face that could kill by itself. No fangs or claws needed. 

Lily was short behind him and nearly crashed into him as he dug his heels into the ground to stop. 

“Umpf… Raphael, what’s going on?“ she muffled into his back, but with a wave of his hand she fell silent and stepped beside him to see what had made him stop. 

Raphael stared at the shivering and shaking ball of shaggy, brown fur that was curled up into one of the rooms corners. 

When he took a step towards it, he heard it whimper in _fear_. 

“Is it… is it a _wolf_?“ Lily whispered, apparently she was as clueless as him. 

“It’s a _were_ wolf. I just don’t now what’s wrong with it…“ Raphael answered and took another step towards it, stopping again as the ball of fur let out a high pitched whine and obviously tried to press itself even closer to the wall. 

“Well, it’s obviously scared. What are you going to do about it?“

Raphael grunted in disapproval. How was he supposed to know? He had never dealt with a scared to the bones-werewolf, that didn't flee at the sight of him. 

“Killing it would be the easiest way to get rid of it. It intruded our territory and therefore there shouldn’t be a problem with any contracts afterwards.“ he mumbled under his breath and Lily rolled her eyes.  
“Not that I want to defend a _werewolf_ “ she spat the word out as if it were poison “but look at it. We can’t kill it if we do not at least know what it’s doing here.“ 

Raphael sighed. Of course she had to be reasonable… Not that they could take the easy path once in their life’s.  
But he was too tired to argue, so he nodded. 

“If anything goes wrong it’ll be on your behalf.“ he growled and Lily nodded, although both of them knew that that wasn’t the truth.  
If anything would happen Raphael would take the blame himself and probably regret his own decisions forever, but he wouldn’t blame Lily. He would never blame someone else, if he was the one who gave the orders. 

“I’ll handle it. You need to go to sleep as well.“ he told his second in command, his eyes never leaving the wolf. 

He still wasn’t convinced that this wasn’t a trick.  
Lily looked at him, unsure if she should really leave him alone, but the look Raphael gave her made her back off. 

“If you need anything just call.“ 

Raphael nodded stiffly before she turned around and sped out of the room, letting the door fall close behind her with a bang that made the wolf flinch. 

Raphael narrowed his eyes a bit as he stared down at the animal, waiting for it to make a move.  
He wasn't going to approach it since he didn’t want to frighten it even more. 

Although he knew the wolf was technically human and could understand him very clearly, it still seemed more like a wolf than a person to him.  
The way it’s ears were laying flat against his head, it’s eyes darted towards the ground in an act of pure submission and it’s whole body seemed to submerge into the wall, it just looked like a scared dog rather than a human-wolf hybrid. 

Suddenly it moved and Raphael’s whole body tensed, teeth and claws bared again in the matter of seconds and a hiss forming in the back of his throat. 

The wolf whimpered as it saw Raphael towering over it like this and Raphael relaxed a bit as he understood that it hadn’t wanted to attack him. 

He took a step back and let his gaze rest on the wolf, which now very slowly scrambled itself up; Raphael noticed how it still tried to make itself seem small, eyes flickering around the room as if it were searching for danger.  
“I’m alone.“ Raphael explained slowly and the wolf shrugged away from him, its thin form swaying a bit at the fast movement. “I won’t hurt you, if you don’t try anything stupid.“

Raphael didn’t know why he tried to make the wolf trust him, but somehow a relieved feeling flooded through his body as the wolf visibly relaxed. 

“Why are you here?“ he asked and now the wolf finally fully looked at him. 

Its eyes were a deep, shining gold and though they were a bit glassy they at least weren’t wide with panic anymore.  
The wolf whimpered slightly and Raphael sighed. 

“This isn’t going to work like this. I’m going to ask you `yes or no questions´ and you are going to answer them, do you understand me?“ his voice was harsh but not threatening and the wolf nodded slightly, its tail between its legs in fear.

“Good.“ Raphael scrunched his nose for a moment, thinking about where to beginn.  
“Can you turn back into your human form?“ 

A whine escaped the wolf and its eyes went wide for a moment, panic flashing through them before it furiously shook his head and Raphael frowned.  
He didn’t fully understand how the werewolf-turning-thing worked, but he knew for sure that that wasn’t normal. 

“Does your pack know you’re here?“ 

The wolf’s gaze darted away from him and it shook it’s head slightly, claws scraping nervously over the floor. 

“Do you even have a pack?“ Raphael rubbed his temples as it shook it’s head again. 

Dios mio, what had that thing gotten itself into? Why exactly had he agreed not to kill it? Everything would be much easier if he just had done that… But no, he now had to deal with a stray wolf. A stray-werewolf. Whatever. 

“So you haven’t been bitten long ago?“ 

This time the wolf nodded, a whiny sound escaping it again. 

“Let me guess: You didn’t know where to go and thought that this would be a good hideout.“ 

Another nod and Raphael nearly chuckled, because although the creature in front of him was a wolf he could literally feel the embarrassment coming of from it. 

“You can’t stay.“ 

The wolf cried out and let itself fall down in front of him, looking up at him with a pleading look, obviously begging Raphael to reconsider his decision. 

Raphael swallowed hard. Dios, the poor thing looked so lost and scared and all in all just pretty horrible and he couldn’t kick it out. He just couldn’t.

Lily was right, he was getting soft. He totally blamed her. 

With a dramatic sigh he looked down on the wolf. “Ok. You can stay the night, _but_ not any longer. I will bring you to a pack tomorrow, you need to stay with your kind. They’ll know what to do with you.“

The wolf whined and it half sounded like a thank you and half sounded like it had been fearful and Raphael rolled his eyes before another question crossed his mind. 

“Are you a girl?“ This time he couldn’t suppress a chuckle escaping him, because the look in the wolf’s eyes was nearly sulky as it shook its head. 

“A boy then?" Raphael smirked slightly as _he_ nodded.

“Ok, fine. Do you want to stay _here_?“ Raphael asked him, waving his hand around. The wolf shook his head again and Raphael noticed how he tried to make himself small, so he grimaced, but nodded. 

“I think you should be able to stay in my rooms. But if you even dare to try and attack me…“ he trailed of and bared his fangs, although he wasn’t really concerned.  
The wolf clearly wasn’t a threat and the scared whimper that escaped him at the sight of Raphael’s fangs didn’t tell him otherwise. 

“Follow me.“ Raphael told the wolf, turned around and started walking towards the door, when he suddenly felt an unexpected warmth against his leg. 

Startled he froze and looked down. The wolf looked up at him, his head still rubbing against Raphael’s calf in a thanking gesture and Raphael lifted one eyebrow in confusion. 

If he hadn’t known better he would have thought that the wolf smiled sheepishly, but he had probably just imagined that, so he ignored it and opened the door to make his way towards his own rooms.

They walked next to each other and the wolf somehow managed to press himself against Raphael the whole time. Raphael could feel him shaking out of fear since he probably sensed all the other vampires, although they didn't come across any other clan member .

Usually Raphael would have just sped into his bedroom, but he kept on walking as slowly as he could so that the wolf could keep up with him. 

When they finally reached the thick, ebony door that led into his bedroom he pulled open and stepped aside. 

“Get in.“ Raphael told him lowly and the wolf ducked it’s head and looked up at him; Raphael rolled his eyes at the look of uncertainty. 

“You can sleep outside of course, but I can’t promise you that my people will be as generous as I am. I’m to soft anyway, I can’t believe I’m letting a _werewolf_ sleep in my room…“ Raphael trailed of and rubbed his temples as the wolf let out a scared whimper. 

“Dios, now get in or I will _make_ you sleep outside.“ 

Finally the wolf complied and sneaked into the room, tail still between his legs. He flinched when Raphael closed the door behind them and huffed quietly. 

Raphael watched him as he looked around the big room.  
It wasn’t exactly a homey or cozy room like some of the others’, but it was his.  
He liked the cool and calming atmosphere of the gray walls, his desk out of heavy, dark wood standing in the center at the back of the room and his comfortable, throne-like desk chair behind it.

His bed was quiet imposant, too. The thick dark purple curtains hanging around it shielded the insides from possible intruders and the sheets were out of smooth, expensive silk (Raphael loved the feeling of it against his skin). 

Raphael slowly walked over to the wolf and grimaced at the thought of his room smelling like werewolf after the day, but then shoved the thought away again. He could call Magnus to deal with it tomorrow...

“Wait a moment. Don’t ruin anything or I will rip your throat out.“ Raphael threatened before speeding out of the room, leaving the wolf behind with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. 

Maybe that’s why it only took him a few minutes to get back to his room, blankets and cushions thrown over his arm and a bowl in his hand. 

Relieve washed through him when he noticed that the wolf hadn’t moved much, he had been laying on the ground, but as soon as Raphael entered the room he scrambled up again. 

“Here. Eat, you look like you haven’t fed in days.“ The look in the wolfs eyes told Raphael that that was the truth. He put the bowl with the meat in it down in front if him and then walked towards the end of his bed, laying the blankets down on the floor behind it. 

A disgusting smack made it’s way to his sensitive ears and Raphael pulled a face. He had forgotten how noisily werewolves ate. Gross. 

When he turned around he saw that the wolf had already gulped down the food and was now licking the blood of his mouth. 

“You look disgusting.“ Raphael commented and the wolf huffed, sending him a look that clearly said `I don’t fucking care.´ 

Raphael chuckled lightly and then pointed towards the blanket on the floor next to his bed. 

“You can sleep there. I have to change, but then I’ll go to sleep, too. You kept me awake way to long… So don’t wake me or you will regret it.“ 

The wolf shuffled nervously and then nodded, walking over to his new `bed´ and Raphael watched him amused as he curled himself into a hairy ball on it. The wolf yawned widely and then laid his head on his paws, watching Raphael through hooded eyes, who lifted one eyebrow and then started to shrug of his jacket. 

He did actually, contrary to some believes, change his clothes when he went to bed and _didn’t_ sleep in a suit.  
It was horribly uncomfortable (he spoke out of experience; Raphael still had to cringe whenever he thought about all the wrinkles in his clothes after that night…).

When Raphael pulled his shirt over his head, too, a small sound came out of the corner of his room and Raphael turned around, frowning at the wolf, who was looking comically ashamed. 

His eyes were darted towards the floor, one of his ears flicking nervously. 

Raphael just shrugged and the disappeared into his walk-in closet to change completely into a tank top and sweatpants. 

When he stepped into the room again the wolf had his eyes closed and his fragile body was rising and sinking evenly- Raphael could sense that he was fast asleep. 

Smiling a bit at the wolf’s easy trust he climbed into his own bed.  
No normal werewolf would have even thought about hiding in vampire territory let alone follow the vampire clan leader into their room. The wolf hadn’t only done that without a question, no he now was sleeping peacefully, as if he had no concerns about Raphael killing him in his sleep.  
To be fair Raphael didn’t want to kill him, but still, it was unusual for _any_ creature to be this trusting towards him. 

Throwing the sheets over himself Raphael glanced down onto the wolf one last time before closing his eyes.  
Tomorrow he would talk to Garroway. But now he really, really needed to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify: Raphael and Lily refer to Simon as 'it' because they rather see him as a wolf than a human at first. As soon as Raphael knows Simon's gender he uses the male pronouns though.
> 
> \- Next chapter: Luke Garroway, the awesome Alpha wolf, and Raphael doesn't know what to do-
> 
> Kudos and comments cheer me up!


	3. You can coax the cold right out of me; Drape me in your warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke totally nails the position of the dad-wolf and Raphael is an affectionate mess, not knowing what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I couldn't upload earlier... It's still friday though where I live ^^  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter, although it isn't my favorite. Important for the plot though.
> 
> (Also: The fic/chapter titles are from Troye Sivan's song `Bite´)

Raphael woke up to a drawn out, high pitched whine next to his bed. 

Groaning at the unnerving noise he sat up and rubbed his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his sight, before he blinked and looked down to what had awakened him. 

When he saw who it was he sighed dramatically before he fell back into the soft mattress. 

“Dios, shut up! You do know that since I’m a vampire I can hear you more clearly than mundanes would?“ he huffed towards the wolf who stopped the whining all of the sudden to shuffle around a bit. 

Raphael smirked slightly as he watched the wolf try to untangle himself from the blanket that he somehow had managed to wrap around his limbs tightly during the night. 

“ _Idiota_ …“ he mumbled before he swung his legs out of the bed and reached out to grab the wolf by the neck. 

He froze and a whimper escaped him as Raphael dragged him towards him. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, don’t worry.“ Raphael tried to calm the scared werewolf down and he whimpered again, body shaking slightly as Raphael carefully freed him from the blanket.  
When he finally was able to fully move again he stumbled away from Raphael, eyes filled with panic, his chest heaving and sinking too fast to be normal. 

Raphael narrowed his eyes in worry; he hadn’t meant to freak the poor thing out, he had just wanted to help. 

He stood up and made his way over to the corner the wolf had curled himself up in- at the sound of his light footsteps the wolf yelped slightly and squeezed his eyes together in fear. 

Raphael crouched down in front of him, not really sure of what to do.  
How was he supposed to know how to deal with a werewolf with panic attacks?

“Hey, I’m sorry.“ he whispered softly, lifting his hand, but then let it fall to his side again, realizing that touching the wolf right now probably wasn’t the best idea. “I didn’t want to trigger you.“ 

Silence fell and Raphael now completely sat down in front of the wolf, crossing his legs and then waited for him to make the next move. 

Raphael had no idea why he cared so much- The other one was a werewolf after all and probably meant a lot of trouble.  
But when he looked at the shaking ball of brown fur in front of him he felt the undeniable urge to protect it or at least make it feel safe. 

Dios mio, what the hell was wrong with him? He was the leader of the New York-vampire clan, he was supposed to be ruthless and threatening not a rescue for stray-baby wolfs… 

Raphael sighed slightly before he decided to get dressed - it was going to be a long day - but when he started to stand up again, the wolf whined slightly and lifted his head, staring at him through pleading gold eyes.  
For a second Raphael hesitated and then sat down again, holding his hand towards the wolf and there was a moment where neither of them moved, before the wolf slowly pushed his snout into Raphael’s open hand and rested his head on it. 

Raphael smiled slightly and ran his fingers through the brown fur, nearly wincing as much as the wolf did when they got caught in a few knots. 

“You really need to take a bath… That can’t feel good.“ Raphael mumbled and the wolf hummed in agreement. 

“I need to make a call and then I’m going to bring you to a pack I know.“ He explained, drawing a scared whimper from the wolf, who immediately pulled his head out of Raphael’s hand and looked away.  
“It’s not like you can stay here! Firstly, I have no clue how to help you and secondly, you’re a werewolf. I can’t just keep you around without my clan being ok with it and I can tell you, they wouldn’t be delighted.“ 

The wolf made a pleading noise, but Raphael ignored it and stood up before he could relent and say something stupid. 

He dressed himself as fast as he could (which was pretty fast, `cause, you know, vampire speed) and dialed Garroway, clicking his tongue as he waited for him to pick up. 

The wolf was still lying in the corner he had left him and Raphael tried not to look at the poor creature, hoping that it would make him feel less guilty. He felt sorry for him; he had to feel so lost without anyone that could help him deal with the situation. 

“Luke Garroway?“ 

Finally that mutt had managed to pick up his phone... 

“Garroway.“ Raphael snarled into the phone and then nearly snickered as he heard the long sigh at the other end. 

“Santiago. What is it? I thought we had had to deal with each other more than enough the last week.“

“Dios, it’s not like I’m calling to ask you how you’re doing…“  
 Luke huffed, but stayed silent, probably waiting for Raphael to continue talking. 

“But I do actually have a… well, let’s call it `a problem´“ Raphael started and Garroway interrupted him promptly. 

“Oh, come to the point, I’m tired. Not everyone lurks around the night for all their life.“ 

Raphael hissed into the phone, an aggressive and maybe a bit threatening sound that made the alpha shut up.  
How could he dare make jokes about his life like he choose to be a creature that couldn’t face sunlight.  
But he just gritted his teeth and let out an unnecessary breath before he kept on talking. 

“As I was saying. I have a problem, but it involves you- Your kind.“

“Santiago, what are you talking about?“

“There’s a stray werewolf at my hotel, who can’t turn back into his human form and suffers from panic and anxiety attacks.“ 

Silence. 

Then: “A… stray-werewolf? At your hotel? And he still _lives_?“ 

The other one sounded perplex and, to be honest, Raphael couldn’t really blame him. It did sound really unrealistic. 

“Yes. Blame my second-in-command, she told me that I shouldn’t kill him. But anyway, you need to take him. I can’t keep him here, my clan won’t tolerate it.“ 

“Okay… Yeah, just. Just come over, I’ll see what we can do.“ Then the line was dead.  
That sucker had hang up on him.

Raphael sighed before he turned to the wolf, who had followed the whole conversation wide eyed and now, to Raphael’s amusement, tried to hide under Raphael’s bed, failing miserably. Although he did look really lanky and slim, he actually was pretty big. At least big enough to not be able to fit under Raphael’s bed. 

“Come on, let’s get you some help.“ Raphael told the wolf, ordering him to follow with a wave of his hand.  
When he didn’t follow him Raphael rolled his eyes before baring his fangs. 

“Do I have to remind you who’s in charge here?“ he growled and with a yelp the wolf jumped to his side, although he stood a few inches away from him, not touching Raphael with his body. 

Raphael opened the door and they made their way out of the hotel (Raphael was glad that they didn’t cross paths with one of the other vampires as they walked out) and then slowly strolled towards Jade Wolf, Garroway’s pack’s hideout. 

When they arrived the alpha was already waiting for them, but before Raphael could even open his mouth, the wolf at his side escaped a high pitched whimper and he sprung back, hiding behind him, ears layed back, tail between his legs and body shaking in fear. 

Garroway frowned and Raphael crossed his arms. 

“I told you, it’s really weird. I don’t know why he’s so scared of his own kind.“ he explained to the alpha and Garroway nodded firmly. 

“Looks like he got turned against his will. but I’ve never seen any turned wolf react this extrem…“ Garroway shook his head. 

“He got turned not long ago. He hid in the hotel when we were gone, he had barely enough resources to keep him alive. When we found him he basically _submitted_ to me, that’s how scared he was.“ 

A look flashed over Garroway’s eyes, that Raphael couldn’t really place. 

“I’m going to talk to him.“ 

Raphael nodded and turned to the wolf behind him, carefully petting his head in a (hopefully) soothing gesture. 

“He’s just trying to help you. You need to at least… _talk_ to him.“   
Raphael had to physically restrain himself from making quotation marks into the air as he said this; werewolfs `talking´ just didn’t seem the right way to call it. For him it just sounded like two dogs barking at each other in a horribly high tone. 

The wolf in front of him whimpered, but nodded slightly, pressing himself close to Raphael’s leg as he stepped towards Garroway, who now had transformed into his wolf form.  
Next to the alpha the other wolf looked like tiny chihuahua. 

And then the growling, barking, whimpering, humming and huffing started.  
Raphael grimaced at the loud noises, but let his gaze rest on the smaller wolf. 

Every time Garroway tried to take a step towards him, he shuffled back, looking up at Raphael with scared eyes and Raphael had to keep himself from baring his fangs at Garroway for threatening the wolf. 

The `conversation´ took maybe ten minutes in which Raphael could feel the wolf pressed against him being close to freaking completely out more than _three_ times. He laid his hand on the wolfs back every time, rubbing small circles into the fur until he had calmed down again. 

When Garroway turned back into his human form, Raphael lifted one eyebrow. 

“You are an exceptionally horrible conversationalist. How do you even manage to fuck up this bad?“ he hissed at the alpha and Garroway grimaced. 

“I’m as much of a therapist as you are, so calm down.“ He told Raphael, crossing his arms. “This is what I can tell you: His name is Simon, he’s twenty years old and got bitten four days ago by a werewolf with a disease similar to rabies. As you already found out he hid at the hotel, because he didn’t know where to go and what to do. He’s _physically_ able to transform back into his human form, but not mentally, I think. It triggers him somehow, as well as the presence of other werewolves. And he also made very clear that he won’t stay with my pack.“ 

Raphael blinked, trying to sort the spate of information that had just erupted out of Garroway’s mouth.

“Simon…“ he mouthed the words slightly, trying to suppress a smile as the wolf looked up at him with glowing eyes. Then a frown formed on his face. 

“What do you mean he won’t stay with your pack?“ 

Garroway shrugged. “He won’t- well, he told me he _can’t_ stay with my pack and I’m not going to make him. Pressuring him in his mental condition probably isn’t the best idea. I’m not his alpha, so it’s not like he feels connected to me or the urge to follow my orders. Actually, I forgot to tell you one thing: He thinks he killed his alpha- the one, who turned him.“

Raphael narrowed his eyes.  
Simon (dios, did it feel good to know his name) had _killed_ another werewolf?  
He just couldn’t imagine that; how should this fragile figure have killed another, stronger, more aggressive creature?

Garroway seemed to have noticed his unbelief and sighed. 

“It’s weird, isn’t it? But I think it has something to do with the disease in the other wolf's blood getting into Simon's blood. The poison must have activated survival instincts- that must be why he turned on the spot and then had a black out.“

Raphael nodded slightly; that made sense, somehow. 

“What are you going to do with him, if he won’t stay with you?“ Raphael asked after a few seconds of silence in which they were both just staring at Simon, who shrunk under the two gazes. 

Garroway chuckled.  
“The question is, what are _you_ going to do with him, because he obviously likes you more than me. Bad taste, kid, seriously… You should think about that again.“ 

The alpha smirked slightly when Simon snarled at the statement, hiding behind Raphael again. 

“I can’t take him with me.“

A whimper. 

“He’s a werewolf. The clan won’t accept it.“

A whine. 

“He’d probably start to have withdrawal symptoms or something, since he wouldn’t be able to go out into the sunlight or anything and we don’t have the food he needs.“

A comfortable warmth rubbing pleadingly against his leg. 

“I… I don’t even know what to do with him let alone how to help him.“

Big, golden eyes staring into his… 

And Raphael got weak. He totally blamed Lily. It was her fault. She had wanted him to let Simon live. Dios, he just couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes, shame on him. 

“Dios mio, stop looking at me like this! You can come back with me, _until_ we found another option.“ Raphael grumbled and did his best to ignore the knowing smile on Garroway’s face. 

“If you need anything, let me know.“ The older werewolf said, before turning around and walking into the Jade Wolf without another word. 

Rapael stared down at Simon, gritting his teeth together. He fucked up so bad. Why exactly did he this `sympathy´-shit exist? It only ruined his plans. 

Suddenly his phone vibrated in his Jacket and Raphael pulled it out, to read the incoming message.

**He’s still one of us. Don’t even think about hurting him, or I will hurt you. - L.G.**

Raphael groaned loudly.  
Had he really just gotten the dad-speech from Luke Garroway, because of a werewolf the other one knew for literally fifteen minutes?

Simon next to him shuffled a bit and Raphael shot an angry look towards him, making the wolf whimper slightly. 

“You’re fucking up my whole schedule…“ Raphael huffed and Simon nudged his hand with his snout, licking slightly over Raphael’s fingertips.  
 Raphael froze at the contact, before shaking his head.  
The werewolf really did act more like a dog than a person… 

With a sigh he started walking. “Come on, let’s go _home_.“ 

Simon hummed affectionately next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments and kudos!
> 
> I really do appreciate them a lot!
> 
> -Next chapter: The clan gets introduced to their newest member and Raphael gets surprised.-


	4. Don't you want to see a man up close? A phoenix in the fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clan being awesome and Raphael being at a loss of words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this is so late although I said the next chapter would be up on sunday... I had a small breakdown because of school, which stopped me from writing.   
> But here's the new chapter. Not as long and good as you guys deserve, but I still hope you like it!

As soon as Raphael walked through the entrance of the Hotel with Simon by his side, they were immediately greeted by Lily and a few other vampires baring their fangs at them in an aggressive snarl. 

Well, they weren’t snarling at him, but at Simon, which made the werewolf yelp in fear and hide behind his legs.   
Raphael could feel him shaking and sighed before he held his hand up, stopping the other clan members from threatening the wolf and then dismissed everyone except Lily with a wave of his hand. 

“Raphael! We were all so worried! Where were you? We thought it harmed you?!“ Lily looked seriously upset and Raphael frowned. 

Oh. He might have had forgotten to tell her where he was going. Huh. Weird, that never happened. He blamed Simon. 

“There’s no need to worry, I’m fine. He can’t hurt me - even if he could, he wouldn’t dare to do so.“ Raphael explained and Lily narrowed her eyes. 

“Why is he still here anyway? Didn't you want to get him out?“

Raphael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Dios mio, he didn’t really want to admit that he had gotten weak because of those damn puppy eyes…

“I was at the Jade Wolf. They can’t take him, it seems like he gets triggered by the presence of his own kind. And I… I couldn’t just send him away.“ Raphael sighed again and Lily in front of him huffed out a laugh in unbelief. 

“You couldn’t send a _werewolf_ away?“ 

“Dios mio, don’t say it like _that_! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, either. But I told Garroway I would take care of him and I don’t want to start a war over an anxiety ball of fur.“ Raphael explained and they both looked down onto the werewolf, who still hid behind Raphael’s legs, ducking under Lily’s scrutinizing gaze. 

“And you… want to keep him?“ She looked slightly disgusted and Raphael grimaced. 

“I don’t _want_ to… It’s more like I have to.“ He felt Simon wincing and slightly backing away from him a bit at the words and Raphael immediately felt bad for being so harsh, so he added “But yes, I want him to stay. At least until we found a different solution.“ 

Lily lifted one perfectly done eyebrow and crossed her arms. 

“You seriously want a werewolf to live with us? Are you insane?“

Every other being would have been dead in a matter of seconds after saying that into Raphael’s face, but this was _Lily_ and, to be honest, she was right. 

He was insane. 

“The clan needs to agree of course, I’m not going to smuggle him in or anything. Although I could, I’m the leader, so lets not forget that.“

There was a slight warning in his words, making Lily take a small step back.   
They were friends, but sometimes Raphael had to remind her who he was. He couldn’t lose his authority over friendship.

“Right. Do you want to convene a meeting or should I just ask the others, if they are ok with it?“

Raphael raised his eyebrows in surprise.   
“You’re ok with it?“

Lily chuckled slightly. “Yes. If you trust him, I’m going to trust him, too. And he _is_ cute, I can understand why you couldn’t say no to that face.“

Simon whimpered slightly behind Raphael and the vampire rolled his eyes.

“Thank you. Let’s convene a meeting in… an hour? I need to change, I’m still reeking like mutt.“

A grin spread over Lily’s face and she nodded before turning around and walking away from them. 

Raphael looked down at Simon, who was shuffling around on the spot. Dios, he probably was a fidgeter as a human… Ugh, what had he gotten himself into. 

“Let’s go. You should probably pray for the others to approve of you.“ Raphael said and then made his way towards his room, Simon following with a whine. 

After reaching his room, Raphael first filled up Simon’s `food bowls´ with water and the bit of meat they always kept in their fridge for visitors and then went to take a shower.

When he walked out of the bathroom half an hour later with only a towel around his waist, the wolf yelped at his sight of his bare torso and looked away embarrassingly fast.   
Raphael smirked slightly and lifted one eyebrow in amusement, but didn’t say anything and dressed himself as fast as possible. 

_________________________

“Come on. You’re coming with me, maybe it will help convince the others if they see your pretty face.“ 

Simon whimpered and laid his ears back in fear, making Raphael hum in sympathy. 

“They aren’t going to hurt you, if I’m with you. You’re safe, relax.“ he tried to calm the werewolf down, soothingly running his fingers through his shaggy fur.   
Simon breathed in shakily, but somehow actually relaxed into the touch after a few seconds and pushed himself against Raphael, his head rubbing against the vampire’s clothed leg. 

Raphael smiled slightly, before rightening himself again and then opening the door for the wolf to walk through.

__________________________

 

When they got to the meeting, the rest of the clan was already there.  
There were a few unfriendly hisses filling the room as soon as Simon walked in behind Raphael, but Raphael shut them up with a dark look, before he took his place at the end of the table. 

His chair looked similar to a throne, but Raphael carried himself like a king, so it suited his appearance. It made him look like the leader he was.

Raphael cleared his throat and silence fell until he raised his voice. 

“As Lily has probably already told you, I brought a lost werewolf with me. His name is Simon and Garroway’s pack can’t take him in, because he suffers from anxiety and panic attacks at the sight of his own kind, which is why I took him with me again. _But_ since we are a clan I am going to ask for your approval to let him stay here until we found a solution.“ 

The words laid heavy in the room and there were a few seconds of silence until suddenly whispers erupted from every corner. 

Raphael glanced down at Simon, who was laying at his feet and was looking up at the vampire with big, scared eyes. Raphael smiled assuringly; he hoped it calmed the wolf down enough to prevent another anxiety or panic attack.

“Why is he in his wolf form? Does he not want to talk to us?“ came a sudden question from the back of the room and a few vampires nodded approvingly. 

“He’s not able to turn back into his human form, yet, because of his mental instability. I think that as soon as he is able to do so, he will.“ Raphael explained.

His look fell on Lily, who was listening to one of their younger members, before she turned to him. 

“The clan wants to discuss this without him being here at the moment.“ she announced and Raphael frowned, but nodded. 

“Go back to my room. You know where it is, don’t you?“ he quietly told Simon, who nodded and shuffled himself up, nearly trembling when he walked out of the room.

Raphael looked after him with a sorry-feeling stirring in his stomach.  
He then turned towards the others again. 

“So?“

“You trust a _werewolf_?“ 

Raphael sighed. “No, I trust _him_. He’s just a kid, he doesn’t have anywhere to go and I do not want anyone to experience what I experienced after I got turned. Not even a _werewolf_.“

A few people nodded and Lily looked at him in sympathy, but he just rolled his eyes at her.   
He did not have time for this touchy feely stuff at the moment. They knew about his past and he hoped it was enough to convince them, because it was all he had, since he didn’t fully understand why he trusted Simon himself.  
Raphael waited a few minutes more until Lily raised her voice again. 

“We came to a conclusion. He can stay, _but_ he needs to be under supervision the whole time and is not allowed to walk around alone. He’ll stay in your room and if he gets in any kind of trouble he’s out. Also, he needs to take a bath. We can smell him from here…“ she trailed of slightly and a few vampires chuckled. 

Raphael released an unnecessary breath. He had absolutely no idea why he was so relieved, but it calmed him to know that the clan approved of Simon.

“Very well. Thank you.“ He gave them a small smile. “I’ll arrange a few things now, so he'll be able to adapt to our lifestyle. You’re dismissed.“

He stood up and smiled at Lily before speeding to his room. 

When he reached it, he stopped in his tracks, frowning. 

Raphael could feel Simon’s presence inevitably in his room, but it somehow felt different than before. Bigger, and somehow even more scared. The boys heartbeat was going unbelievably fast and even skipped a beat as Raphael pushed the door open to slip into the room. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but all words got lost on their way out as he saw why Simon’s presence felt so different. 

The werewolf wasn’t in his wolf form anymore, he was sitting on Raphael’s bed in his human body, obviously shaking and his eyes fixed on a spot behind Raphael. 

And _dios_ was he gorgeous.

He somehow really looked like his wolf form.  
Simon’s hair was the same dark brown as the wolf’s fur, ruffled and dirty, as if he had just ran his hand through it.   
A ripped and bloodstained shirt hang of his thin but lean body, high cheekbones and a strong jaw making his face look beautiful even though there were dark shadows under his eyes. 

And his eyes, _dios_ his eyes. They were brown, but not a dark brown like Raphael’s own, a light brown, that reminded him of swirls of caramel and chocolate mixed together.  
Shining and capturing, mysterious and warm at the same time 

The boy was still breathing quickly and his long fingers were twitching in his lap as he finally looked Raphael in the face.

“Simon…“ Raphael breathed out, but he was at a loss of words, he didn’t know what to do. 

Silence. 

And then: “Thank you.“

It was barely a whisper and Simon’s voice was raspy and raw, sending shivers through Raphael’s whole body, a burning warmth spreading in his stomach, making his skin tingle and his unnecessary breathing quicken. 

Shit. Shit. Shit.   
Damn it, he was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Next time: Raphael realizes that he's completely fucked and Simon takes a bath-
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos, comments and subscriptions! You guys are awesome!


	5. I can be the subject of your dreams; Your sickening desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly fluff mixed with a bit of angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, I'm so so sorry this took me so long.  
> School really fucked me up and I can't write when I'm stressed... BUT I don't have any exams anymore, so I'll have plenty if time to write the next few weeks, so this should be done soon.  
> I also had said that this story was supposed to be like... 5 chapters? Well, it kinda got away from me, so there are going to be a few more.  
> I really hope you enjoy this slightly longer chapter, I actually like it :)

Raphael swallowed slightly and then walked over to the boy on his bed, dropping to his knees in front of him. 

“You can stay as long as you don’t cause any trouble.“ He told him, not really sure of what else to say.

Simon smiled slightly, finally looking up into Raphael’s face, but the smile vanished again in a matter of seconds. 

“Please don’t tell the others that I am able to turn now.“ Simon whispered and Raphael frowned, but nodded. 

“It’s ok, I won’t tell anyone. You’ll only be able to stay in my room anyway, so that won’t be a problem. Just… Make sure that no one sees you in your human form, as long as you don’t want to be seen. I don’t know what I would tell my clan, as to why I was lying to them.“

Simon nodded and Raphael waited for him to say something, but he stayed still. 

Raphael didn’t know what made him do it, but he suddenly lifted his hand and cupped the boys face gently, pausing when Simon flinched back.  
He relaxed after a few seconds again, though, and it even felt like he was leaning into the touch, so Raphael didn’t pull his hand away and instead ran his thumb over Simon’s cheekbone.

“Are you ok?“ Raphael asked the werewolf softly and Simon took in a shaky breath, before shaking his head only ever so slightly. 

“No…“ His voice broke as soon as the words left his mouth and Raphael could see how Simon attempted to gather himself, digging his fingernails into his palm, jaw tensing and eyes squinting. 

“Shhh, it’s ok. It’s ok, Simon, you can cry. I’m here.“

Raphael softly pulled the boy towards him, carefully wrapping his arms around the shaking figure.  
He had no idea what he was doing. Of course, they had fledglings all the time and Raphael, as the clan leader, comforted them, but he never had to deal with a physically and mentally abused teenager. 

But apparently he did something right, because Simon pressed himself against Raphael’s chest, gripping the lapels of his jacket tightly as he sobbed into the vampires shirt. 

Raphael soothingly started to rub small circles into the werewolf’s back, while running his hand through his hair, trying to calm him down a bit. 

It took Simon maybe five minutes to stop crying; he was now only sniffing into Raphael’s shirt, face buried in the smaller man’s neck.

“Thank you. I… Thank you, I don’t know what I would have done without you…“

Raphael shivered slightly as he felt Simon’s lips move against his skin and awkwardly petted the boy’s head. 

“You’re welcome. What kind of person would I be to just leave you to die on the streets?“ he murmured and Simon chuckled sadly. 

“Probably a majority. I don’t think many vampires would take in a we-… someone like me, without a second thought.“

Raphael pressed his lips together. Simon was right, his actions were really unusual for a vampire, but what could he say?  
He didn’t regret `keeping´ him; how could he, when the boy was such a gorgeous little thing in his arms.  
Raphael blinked confused and shook his head slightly, he was not supposed to think about how gorgeous the werewolf was. That was just… wrong.

Grabbing Simon by his shoulders, Raphael pushed him a few inches away, ignoring the strong urge to keep him as close as possible.

“Are you feeling better?“ he asked softly and a smile tugged at his lips as Simon nodded slightly and hastily let go of Raphael’s jacket lapels, which he had still been holding tightly between his long fingers.

“Good. Uh… I’m going to grab some clothes for you, ok? Those can’t be comfortable. And you should take a shower, too. I’m sorry, but you are _reeking_ horribly.“

Simon blushed slightly and ducked his head, but nodded again.  
Raphael noticed in amusement that the werewolf acted a lot like he had, when he had still been in his wolf-form. 

“Ok, just wait a second and-“ he was interrupted by a knock on the door and he could see panic flashing over Simon’s face when the door-handle was slowly pushed down.

“Wait a minute!“ Raphael shouted towards the door and he could hear whoever it was, stepping back. 

“Can you change?“ Raphael whispered towards Simon, who’s eyes were still wide in shock, his hand tightly clutching Raphael’s.  
Huh. When had that happened?

“I… yeah. I think so.“ Simon swallowed, his chest starting to rise unevenly again and Raphael stepped closer. 

“Shh, you got this. No one here can hurt you, you can do it, Simon.“ he tried to motivate the boy, wiping away a tear that had escaped a corner of the werewolf’s eye. 

Simon closed his eyes and nodded, gritting his teeth together and then suddenly Raphael got blinded by a soft golden light in front of him and when he looked at the spot were Simon had stood just seconds ago, he was gone, the small wolf looking up at him again, licking the tips of his fingers. 

Raphael’s face softened and he scratched him behind the ears for a second, before walking over to the door, opening it. 

Lily stared at him, eyebrows raised, but she didn’t comment on the conversation she had probably overheard.  
Instead her gaze dropped to Simon, who hid behind Raphael’s legs again. 

“Lily, what do you want?“ Raphael asked, making an apologizing face as his words came out harsher than he had wanted them to. 

“Actually, it’s not only me. A few of the other - including me \- aren’t exactly fond of how your new pet smells…“ 

She chuckled slightly as Simon ducked behind Raphael’s legs, whimpering embarrassed. 

“…so we wanted to ask, if we could bathe him.“

Raphael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“You want to… wash him?“ 

“Well, yes. To be honest, a lot of us do actually find him cute. So we thought it would be for the common good to wash him and at the same time a few of us could have their fun with him? It’s been a long time since we have had contact with a pet.“

“You do know, that he’s actually a person?“ Raphael reminded her with an amused smirk on his face.  
She stuck his tongue out at him and then smiled slightly at Simon. 

“I do. But I bet he won’t be too averse to taking a bath and getting rid of all that dirt.“

Simon actually barked happily at that and heckled slightly, staring at the vampire from behind Raphael’s legs. 

Raphael chuckled slightly. 

“Well, if he wants to, I won’t stop you. Just… Don’t make a mess.“

Lily grinned at him and wiggled her eyebrows. 

“We’ll bring him back, when we are done. Come on, baby, we’re gonna get you clean.“

Simon hummed slightly, rubbing his body against Raphael’s leg as he slid past him to follow Lily. 

Raphael smiled slightly, watching them walk away and then retreated back into his room, applying himself to his work, which he should have done hours ago.

_________________

Two hours later he decided that it was time to take a break, because the numbers and letters started moving in front of him, every time he tried to look at the paper. 

Rubbing his eyes, Raphael stood up and made his way into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of blood. 

Sipping the dark crimson liquid he walked through the hotel, searching for Lily and Simon.  
He hadn’t heard anything from them, since they had left to bathe Simon and that somehow bothered him.  
Not that he didn’t trust Lily, but he was concerned that Simon might panic again because something triggered him. 

Shit, he was so fucked. He was the _leader_ of a clan of _vampires_ and he was more concerned about his clan members hurting his - no, _not_ his - werewolf instead of being scared, that the werewolf would be a threat for the vampires. 

He needed to get his fricking feelings under control, this wasn’t good. In any way. 

Concentrating on his enhanced hearing senses, Raphael located Lily’s soft voice mixed with a few others in what he presumed was Lily’s bath and he chucked down the rest of his blood before making his way towards it with long confident strides.

When he saw the door Raphael slowed down slightly and basically tiptoed to the doorframe, curiously glancing into the big room.

What he saw, made his mouth fall open in surprise and he had to suppress a loud laugh, that threatened to escape him.

In Lily’s bathroom were five female vampires plus Elliott and Lily, all sitting or kneeling around the large bathtub, which was clearly overfilled with water and bubbles.

Raphael could see that the floor was already slightly flooded, but none of them seemed to mind, as they were all focused on Simon, who sat inside the bathtub, only his head emerging out of the water.  
His head was covered in shampoo that smelled like roses and he was happily trying to catch a few of the large bubbles flying around the room, while the vampires were all scrubbing his fur with their hands (or in Elliott’s case a scrubbing brush). 

They were all laughing carelessly and a warm feeling stirred in Raphael’s stomach as he watched part of his clan interact so greatly with the werewolf.  
He never would have thought that they would accept him so easily.

Lily was the first one to notice him and she winked at him with a wide grin, scratching Simon under his chin and then laughed in disgust as the wolf saw Raphael and jumped out of the bathtub, splashing water all over them.  
Raphael took a step back as he noticed Simon’s intention, but it was to late and the wolf jumped at him excitedly, sending them both crashing towards the floor, drenching Raphael’s clothes as Simon ended up on top of him.

All air was knocked out of Raphael’s lungs and a deafening silence spread through the whole room, no one daring to move, until Simon suddenly lunged forward and licked Raphael across the face with an apologizing whimper, bumping his wet snout against Raphael’s cheek. 

And Raphael just couldn’t be mad at him. The wolf was so cute and he watched him sheepishly, as Raphael sat up, scratching his ears while trying to hold in his laughter. 

The other vampires gaped at him in surprise, having thought that their leader would go on a killing spree, after getting knocked down by the wolf.  
Lily coughed Elliott’s gaze and grinned knowingly, watching Raphael pet their new addition to the clan. 

“I’m glad you guys are having fun. Dry him and then bring him to my room again.“ Raphael said slowly, while standing up again, smiling softly down at the wolf, who stared back at him.

The vampires nodded and Raphael left the room, walking out of the hotel to get some human food for the werewolf. He deserved it.

___________

It took Lily and the others nearly forty-five minutes to get Simon and the bathroom dry again and another five to drop him off at Raphael’s room.  
They all ruffled the wolf’s fur before they ushered him through the door, Lily peeking through it and giving Raphael a thumbs up together with a grin, when he looked up, before closing the door again. 

Raphael watched Simon with a soft smile as the wolf stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and seemed to try and relax himself.  
Then the bright golden light erupted from his body again and in a matter of seconds Simon stood in front of him in his human form, still slightly damp clothes clutching to his body and a soft blush spreading over his cheeks and neck. 

“Uh…“ Simon dropped his gaze in embarrassment and Raphael chuckled. 

“I hope you know that you ruined a perfectly fine suit with that attack.“ he teased the boy and stood up from behind his desk to walk towards him. 

Simon smiled sheepishly at him and scratched his neck.  
“I mean… I would say I’ll buy you a new one, but I don’t have the money.“

Raphael actually laughed out loud at that and Simon stared at him in amazement, blushing even harder, when Raphael finally stopped and winked at him. 

“I know. You kids these day are just to _excited_ …“ He grinned slightly and then turned around, grabbing a bunch of clothes he had already taken out of his closet. 

“Here. I think you’ll feel better in something that isn’t wet and torn.“  
 Simon took the clothes with a shy smile and then started shrugging of his clothes, either forgetting that Raphael was still watching him or just not caring. 

This time it was on Raphael to blush in the slightest, because _damn_ , the boy was fitter than he had thought. 

Raphael blinked and then turned away with a cough, the picture of Simon’s lean, muscled torso burned into his brain. 

It only took a few seconds and Simon had completely changed into Raphael’s clothes; now wearing a black shirt that was a bid to wide for him and sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. 

Raphael swallowed at the sight of Simon in his clothes and tried to suppress a groan, as Simon walked towards him, smelling like _Raphael_.

The young man apparently didn’t know what boundaries where, because he stepped even closer as Raphael still stared at him with a slightly glazed expression and then wrapped his arms around the smaller man, burying his face in Raphael’s neck, breathing in the vampire’s heavenly scent. 

Raphael froze in surprise, but then hugged him back, gritting his teeth together as he felt Simon’s nose run running along his neck.  
The werewolf’s heart was beating embarrassingly fast and Raphael bit down a whimper as he basically heard his blood rush through his body, so near to Raphael’s mouth. 

Werewolves normally smelled disgusting to vampires, but Simon somehow smelled delicious to Raphael and he really, really had to restrain himself from sinking his teeth into the boys neck. 

They stayed like this a few more minutes, Simon occasionally mumbling a thank you against Raphael’s skin and Raphael rubbing his hands over the boys back, before they broke apart and Raphael took a step back.  
“I… uh. I got you some food. I thought you might be hungry.“ Raphael said, cursing himself for sounding so unsure, but Simon smiled brightly at him. 

“Thank you.“ 

Raphael watched him with a fond look on his face as he sat down on the sofa in Raphael’s room and wolfed down on the Chinese food he had brought him.

When he was done, he put the box away and then looked up at Raphael, yawning slightly. 

“I… uh…“

“You can sleep, if you want. I actually wanted to do so myself, I haven’t gotten enough sleep these last days.“ Raphael announced and Simon smiled sleepily. 

“Ok.“

Raphael brushed his fingers through the boys hair while walking past him into his bathroom to get himself bed ready. 

When he emerged from it ten minutes later, Simon was in his wolf-form again and Raphael couldn’t help, but feel a bit disappointed

Dios mio, what had he thought Simon would do? Spoon him?  
Raphael shook his head slightly at his own thoughts and then walked over to his bed, sliding into it and suppressing a yawn, as he drew the bedsheets over him. 

Suddenly he felt the mattress give in at the end of the bed and he sat up in confusion, looking down. 

Simon stared at him through big, pleading eyes, already curling himself into a ball, warming Raphael’s feet through the bedsheets. 

Raphael rolled his eyes slightly, but didn’t say anything and lay down again, closing his eyes.

He fell asleep way to fast, with a soft smile on his lips as he felt Simon snuggle closer to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am so so so grateful for all the support I get from you. Seriously, you are the best, I love you all so much, thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and subscriptions on here and even on tumblr!
> 
> -next chapter: Raphael get's protective and Simon is a little tease-
> 
> Also one question: Do you guys want to read smut in this fic? Just tell me about it in the comments.
> 
> And one more question: I really want to write a Saphael high school AU and a Saphael 50's AU over the holidays. So if you have any idea's for one/or both of them write me here or send me a message on my tumblr


	6. I'm pulling on your heart to push my luck, 'cause who's got any time for growin' up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not that long, but pure tooth-rotting fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy, new chapter! As promised sooner than the last one ^^  
> I really hope you guys like it, although it's not long. It's sickly fluffy though, so that might make up for the shortness? You tell me.   
> As always just tell me about my mistakes if you find any, as I don't have a beta.

Raphael was woken up by someone shuffling around in his bed.   
It was certainly very early, because Raphael felt like he had just died again and… wait a second. Why was there someone in his bed?

Sitting up abruptly the vampire blinked a few times and then stared at whatever had disturbed his sleep. 

Right. He had forgotten about _that_. 

Simon was laying in his wolf-form at the end of the bed, writhing in the sheets, small whines escaping his mouth. Paws clawing at the fabric, eyes shut tight, the wolf was rolling around, his fur bristled. 

It took Raphael a few moments to figure out what was happening.   
The wolf was having a nightmare.

Unsure of what to do, Raphael climbed out from under his blanket and crawled over to Simon, still not really awake.   
Gently grabbing the wolf’s neck, he held him down and then shook him awake, Simon’s eyes snapping open and staring right at him before the wolf cried out in a high pitched whine and tried to get away from him. 

Raphael pulled his hand away as Simon proceeded to curl himself into a whimpering ball on the other side of the bed. 

“Simon.“   
Raphael thought it might be a good idea to remember him where and who he was.   
He himself knew, how difficult it was to accept yourself after being turned - no matter if you were a vampire or a werewolf. 

“Simon. You’re safe, calm down. No one is going to hurt you, it was a nightmare. Shh, I’m here.“

Simon seemed to actually calm down a bit at that and looked up at Raphael, still breathing heavily, ears laid back, who was just slipping under the covers again.   
Uncurling himself, the wolf slowly crept over to Raphael, shyly nudging his shoulder with his snout and then whimpering with a pleading look in his eyes. 

Raphael frowned, trying to figure out what the other one wanted, eyebrows raising when he realized that the wolf wanted a place under his blanket. 

“I swear to god, if you wake me again, I’ll throw you out…“ Raphael grumbled.   
It was a huge lie, because honestly, he would probably stay awake the whole day to make sure that Simon was ok, but Simon didn’t need to know that. Nope. 

Slowly lifting the blanket, Raphael smiled sleepily as the wolf let out a thankful yelp and slipped under it - the only part of his body peeking out was his snout and Raphael gritted his teeth together to stop himself from kissing the wolf’s nose, just because it looked so cute.

He let himself fall down onto the mattress again and closed his eyes, a smile playing around his lips as he felt Simon’s warm and fluffy body pressed against his side.

___________________

The second time he woke up that day was certainly to late. 

Lily was banging against his door and Raphael bolted awake, groaning as he felt a throbbing pain forming in his temples. 

“Raphael, get up! You’re going to be late!“ The Asian shouted and Raphael rubbed his eyes. 

“To what?“

“Your meeting? Please don’t tell me you forgot. Seriously, I need to mark this day in my calendar. The mighty Raphael Santiago forgot an appointment.“

“Oh, shut up. I’ll be there in a minute.“

He heard her laugh loudly and then listened to her footsteps slowly distancing. 

Huffing out an annoyed breath, Raphael threw his blanket back and blinked in confusion as he stared at a sleeping Simon, who was still curled up tightly next to him. 

The confusion changed into a gentle smile and Raphael ran his fingers through the wolf’s soft fur, humming slightly before he stood up and got himself dressed in vampire speed and ready to attend the meeting . 

When he slowed down again, Simon was awake, too, curiously watching him with gentle golden eyes and then yelping slightly as he noticed that he had Raphael’s attention. 

“As much as I’d lo- _like_ to stay here with you, I still am the clan-leader and have duties. So you’ll just have to wait until I’m done with my meetings for today. I’ll send you someone to bring you some food, so make sure that you are in your wolf-form, when someone comes in.“ Raphael explained and Simon nodded slightly and then jumped of the bed with a thud. 

Raphael crouched down to be at eye level with him and stroked the wolf under his chin for a second, before petting his head softly. 

“Don’t get in trouble, I’d hate to have to throw you out.“ he mumbled and Simon whined slightly, closing the distance between them and licking over Raphael’s face in a, well, gentle gesture.   
He rubbed his head against Raphael’s cheek and Raphael nearly sighed at the pleasant warmth, ignoring the fact that he now had wolf slobber all over his face, it was oddly comforting. It had been years since he had been this close with someone who had a heart beat. 

Straightening up again, the vampire walked over to the door and let his gaze rest on Simon for a second before leaving the room and closing the door shut. 

______________

The night was nearly over, when Raphael finally decided that he was done for tonight. 

He had had two meetings with the leaders of two other vampire-clans, Garroway had called him to ask about Simon and there had been a huge stack of paperwork waiting for him, which he had done together with Lily in _her_ office, since he didn’t want to get distracted by Simon in his own room. 

Yes, he admitted it. The young werewolf distracted the hell out of him. Simon captured all of his attention, which _wasn’t_ a good thing at all, because one: he had responsibilities and two: he shouldn’t care this much about a werewolf.

Seriously, what was wrong with him?

Tired and worn out he rubbed his temples and then ran a hand through his hair, so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the change in Simon’s presence when he approached his own room and was totally taken by surprise, when he saw the young werewolf lying on his bed in his human form, obviously sleeping. 

Raphael froze and stared at the boy, swallowing hard. 

He knew that he should be angry, because what if it hadn't been him that had found Simon like this, but he just _couldn't_.  
Dios forgive him, he was a good catholic boy, but the thoughts he got seeing Simon lying in his bed like that were pure sinn.   
The things he wanted to do to him… 

Get you shit together, he jolted himself, the deep urge to hit his head against a wall coming up in him. 

He’s a young werewolf and you are a vampire, you should not, in any way, be lusting after this innocent creature.

Licking his lips slightly, Raphael quietly walked over to his desk, trying not to wake the boy up.

He took off his suit jacket and stretched his arms and back with a small sigh.   
Sitting around all day didn’t do anything for all the tension built up in his whole body. 

“Do you need help with that?“ 

Raphael startled and spun around, staring at Simon who had sat up in his bed and was now watching him curiously through those beautiful eyes. 

“Dios mio, don’t do that again.“ The vampire huffed and crossed his arms, but his features softened as he saw that Simon was smiling at him. 

It was a very cute smile; Simon’s face lighting up, his eyes squinting slightly and a small dimple appearing on one side of his face. 

“Sorry, I thought you had noticed that I had woken up.“ Simon mumbled, a soft blush spreading over his face.

“Yeah, I… was distracted.“ 

Simon smirked slightly and Raphael gulped, a shiver running down his body as the boy eyed him like that. 

“I noticed. My offer still stands, so if you want I could try and relieve some of that tension.“

“I… uh. What?“ Raphael slightly gaped at him and Simon’s smirk got wider. 

“I mean, you have done so much for me and I have literally done nothing to thank you. It’s not exactly a good repayment, but you look so stressed and I thought I could give you a massage?“

Raphael blinked. Had he heard right? Simon wanted to give him a _massage?_

“I mean, you don’t have to say yes! I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just thought-“ The werewolf started rambling, his blush deepening and his fingers twitching nervously in his lap.   
Raphael could her his heart beating horrifically fast, dios mio did that boy have anxiety-problems. 

He interrupted him swiftly. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.“ Simon stopped abruptly and stared at him, mouth slightly open. “I was just surprised, that _you_ are comfortable enough to want to give me a massage.“

Simon spluttered slightly. 

“I…uh, yeah. I don’t know, I guess I feel comfortable around you? I just. Um… I am ok with being around you like _this_ “ he pointed at himself, probably meaning his human-form “and I am not scared of you or anything, so I thought. I. uh.“

Raphael raised an eyebrow in amusement at the stuttering mess in front of him and slowly walked over to the bed, sitting down cross-legged in front of Simon, effectively shutting him up. 

“I accept your offer. So get to work.“ He smirked slightly and threw a wink at the werewolf over his shoulder, ignoring how Simon’s heart took up speed at the flirtatious gesture. 

“O…ok.“

Raphael felt Simon placing his hands a bit unsure on his shoulders, slowly starting to dig his fingers into his tense muscles. 

He had to bite back a moan that threatened to escape him as Simon got a bit more confident and started rubbing and kneading his back with more pressure and more finesse, slowly easing the tension. 

Closing his eyes, Raphael leaned into the touch, welcoming Simon’s hot skin through his shirt, warming his cold body.   
He hadn’t felt this relaxed in months, the massage really was doing it’s magic. 

Raphael didn’t even notice when he slowly drifted off to sleep, his eyes falling shut and his whole body tilting backwards, until his back fully rested against Simon’s chest, who stopped the massage and stared at the man in his arms in confusion.

“Thank you…“ Raphael slurred dozily and Simon chuckled slightly. 

“You’re welcome. I think you should go to sleep.“

“Mhm…“ Raphael mumbled, huddling into Simon’s arms. 

“You should change. It’ll be more comfortable than sleeping in your suit.“ Simon whispered into his ear and Raphael shivered as the werewolf’s hot breath hit his neck.   
Slowly blinking himself awake, he sat up again, to tired to be embarrassed by how cuddly he was being. 

It took him only a matter of seconds (and a bit of stumbling - using his vampire speed while being half asleep wasn’t exactly the best idea) and he had changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top and was slipping under his covers again. 

Simon shifted next to him and Raphael felt him changing, but he grabbed the werewolf’s arm to stop him. 

The boy stared at him in confusion, a questioning look on his face. 

“Don’t.“ Raphael muttered and Simon opened his mouth, a frown on his face. 

“What-“ He stopped in his tracks as Raphael pulled him down towards himself and wrapped his arms around the young werewolf, tugging him into his arms. 

Simon let out a surprised yelp, not unlike the ones he often made in his wolf-form, but relaxed as he realized that Raphael didn’t want to hurt him. 

Raphael could feel the boy smirking against neck as he snuggled closer to him, but he was so sleepy, he was beyond caring. 

There was plenty of time to think about how fucked he was, tomorrow. For now he just wanted to sleep - Simon’s body next to him heating his own cold skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys so much, the love I get for this fic is unbelievable. Your comments and kudos always make me feel so much better, so a big thank you to anyone who left a comment, kudo or a subscription. 
> 
> -next chapter: The boys being protective and an event, that hopefully makes you happy-
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr, I love hearing you guys opinions/ideas/rants and I'm always accepting prompts: ABlueLightInTheDark


	7. Kiss me on the mouth and set me free; Sing me like a choir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and a possessive Raphael (+ something you guys have been waiting for ;))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm so sorry that this took longer than I said it would...  
> I'm ill now, so I might be able to write a bit more the next few days, don't know though. I'll try.  
> I hope you guys like the new chapter, it's a longer one, too, yay!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Simon's having an anxiety/panic attack at the beginning of the chapter. If you get triggered by something like that, don't read it. I marked it with ***  
> If you read it and you think I described it wrong or find something offensive, tell me! I'll change it!

When Raphael woke up the next night, two bright eyes stared at him trough the darkness of the room and he nearly screamed, because that wasn’t at all what he had expected first thing in the evening. 

“Dios mio, Simon, what the hell?“ He hissed and sat up, glaring at the younger boy, who was now trying - and failing - to hide his smirk. 

“Sorry… You look cute when you sleep.“  
He at least had the grace to blush slightly as he realized what he just had said, but Raphael frowned. 

“I’m not cute.“ 

Simon giggled softly and then sat up, too, their thighs pressed against Raphael’s under the blanket. 

Raphael shivered at the feeling of Simon’s hot skin against his and then dug his nails into the palm of his hand, trying to get control over his body.

“You’re really cold…“ Simon mumbled under his breath. It was said so quietly that Raphael probably would have missed it, if it weren’t for his advanced senses.

“Perks of being a vampire. I don’t notice it anymore, I got used to it a long time ago.“ He explained and Simon blinked, he probably hadn’t expected an answer. 

“Oh. Do you… Uh. How did you cope with being turned? I mean, I know it’s not the same, since I’m a… a- you know. I just- I don’t even know what I’m saying. Sorry.“ 

Simon stopped and looked down onto his hands, ashamed.  
Raphael understood him. It was always hard getting ripped out of your normal life without anyone there to help you or guide you through it, no matter if you were a vampire or a werewolf. 

“I tried to kill myself.“ He explained dryly and Simon made a choked of sound in the back of his throat, head jerking up to stare at him. 

“My sire turned me against my will, like your’s, and made me kill my friends. I didn’t know what I was doing, but when I realized that I just had drained all of them out of their blood, I killed my sire and then tried to kill me. I was raised a good catholic, I thought I couldn’t live with the sinn that was murder. Another downworlder found me and saved me, helped me adjust to the vampire life and helped me through my depression. He’s a good friend of mine now. Because of him I’m now where I am.“

Silence fell over them and Raphael could hear Simon swallow thickly, the werewolf’s fingertips anxiously tapping at his thigh. 

“I’m sorry for asking.“ He mumbled after a few minutes and Raphael turned to look at him fondly.

“Don’t be. I wouldn’t have told you, if I hadn’t wanted to. I thought that listening to another story might help you feel better about your own.“

Simon’s gaze flickered around the room, obviously trying to not look Raphael into the eyes. 

“I… yeah. Thank you. They are really similar, don’t you think?“ Simon babbled and Raphael raised one eyebrow. 

“Our… well, stories. We both got turned against our will, we both… _murdered_ our sires and then got taken in by another, uh, downworlder? I’m still not really up to date with those terms.“ 

Raphael nodded slightly. 

“I’m sorry _you_ have to deal with all this, too. Especially killing your sire. It’s always hard to accept that you ended someones life.“

Apparently that hadn’t been the right thing to say, because Simon froze next to him. 

*** 

He was completely still for a few seconds, before his hand and then his whole body started shaking, his heartbeat suddenly got impossibly fast and his breathing irrational. 

“Oh god. Oh god. I killed someone. I ripped his throat out. I had his blood in my mouth.“ Simon’s voice was higher than usual, it was shaking as well and sounded hysterical.

Shit. Shit. Shit. God damnit.  
Of course, why hadn’t he thought about it before he told Simon that.  
How could he think that it was a good idea to mention that Simon was a murderer.  
He was so _stupid_ sometimes…

“Simon. Simon, it’s ok. Calm down. Breathe. Breathe, you did nothing wrong. It was your instincts not you. He attacked you and you were wounded, the survival instincts in the wolf in you kicked in. It wasn’t your fault, _Simon_.“

Raphael had no idea what he was saying, he faintly realized that those were the words with which Magnus had calmed him down years ago, when he still kept on having panic-attacks.  
All he wanted right now was for Simon to calm down, because the boy had been through enough. He didn’t want him to live with the same feelings of guilt that Raphael still carried around. He just wanted the werewolf to be happy. 

Simon was still breathing heavily next to him, his hands now wound into his hair, tugging harshly at it as silent tears streamed down his face. 

“Simon. Simon, listen to me. Breathe, ok? In and out, in and out, come on, baby, listen to me…“ Raphael knew he probably sounded desperate, but this was by far the worst panic attack Simon had had while he was around. 

But Simon didn’t seem to hear him, he kept on shaking and crying and violently tugging at his hair, digging his fingernails into his scalp, every few seconds or so harshly taking in a breath that didn’t provide him with enough air that he needed. 

Raphael slid in front of him, unsure of what else to do than talk to him. He didn’t want to touch him, knowing that it probably would make everything worse, but he had to try, because Simon looked like he was seriously hurting himself. 

“Simon, baby, breathe. Breath, everything is going to be ok, you’re ok, I’m with you. I won’t leave you, you’re good, just _breathe_.“ He talked insistently to Simon, while carefully entangling his fingers out of his hair. 

Simon jerked away from the touch, but then let him, while still shaking and crying.  
When Raphael finally had both of Simon’s hands out of his hair, he clutched them, stroking his thumb over Simon’s palm in a soothing gesture. 

“Shh. Shhh. Everything is fine. You did nothing wrong, Simon. It’s not your fault. You are ok. I’m here, Simon, please. Please, just breathe…“

Simon whimpered slightly and Raphael sighed in relief, happy that the boy reacted to him.  
Carefully letting one of Simon’s hands go, he pulled the werewolf towards himself, stopping when Simon tensed.  
It took the younger boy a few moments, but then he let Raphael pull him into his arms and hid his face in the vampires neck, still crying. 

They stayed like this for a few more minutes; Raphael slowly rocking Simon back and forth, rubbing circles into his back, whispering soothing words into the werewolf’s hair, until Simon’s breathing got regular again and he stopped shaking. 

*** 

When he finally stopped sobbing as well, Raphael cupped his face with his hands, running his thumb over his cheekbones. 

“Better?“ He whispered and Simon closed his eyes, breathing in slowly, before opening them again, nodding. 

“Yeah… Thank you. I’m such a burden, I’m so sorry.“ Simon whimpered and Raphael frowned. 

“You’re not. Don’t even think about it. Simon, I want you to be ok, you are _not_ a burden.“  
Simon smiled sadly at him and Raphael sighed, knowing that the boy didn’t believe him. 

“I need you to be believe me. I… I care about you a lot, it doesn’t matter that you keep me awake or anything. You deserve to be happy, you are too young to go through all of this.“ 

Dios mio. He had been so close to telling the werewolf that he _loved_ him. That would have been a disaster!  
He didn’t love him! He just… he just liked him. A lot. And wanted him to be ok and safe and happy. Maybe he wanted to kiss him… Maybe even more…  
Which still confused him a lot, because he usually wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone- but the things he wanted to do to the boy definitely involved more than cuddling. 

Swallowing, Raphael suppressed his increasing arousal and looked the other boy in the eyes again. 

“Simon, you aren’t a burden. You understood me?“ 

Simon nodded slightly, a soft blush spreading over his cheeks. 

“I… yeah. Thank you again.“ He mumbled, before sighing and sitting up, slipping out of Raphael’s touch. 

“I, uh, I don’t think I’ll be able to change today. We should tell your clan that I can turn, anyway.“ Simon cleared his throat after a few moments of silence. 

“Are you sure?“ Raphael asked in surprise, but he nodded. 

“Yeah. Just tell the, I’d rather not be there, if that’s ok.“

“Ok. They’ll want to see you, though, so brace yourself for that.“ 

Simon nodded again and then lay down again, pulling the bedsheets over him again. 

“Can I go back to sleep?“ He whispered and Raphael smiled softly. 

“Sure. Sleep well, baby.“ Raphael leaned down and pressed his lips against the boys forehead, freezing when he noticed what he just had done. 

He was so fucked. So, so fucked.  
Still, a small grin tugged at the corners of his lips, as he noticed Simon blushing and his heart beat speeding up, before Raphael got out of bed.  
When he had gotten himself ready for the day, Simon was already fast asleep again and Raphael carefully closed the door as quietly as he could, before making his way to call a meeting. 

______________________

 

Half an hour later all the whole clan was assembled and watching their leader curiously. 

“I just wanted to inform all of you, that Simon is now able to transform into his human form. He’s not comfortable being around other beings like that, so please respect his boundaries, he’s only a boy. If he wants you to see him, he’ll show himself.“

Raphael smiled slightly and watched as the others nodded respectively, some even smiling themselves.  
Simon seemed to have won the hearts of most of the clan members, which relieved Raphael unbelievably. 

He thought that that would be it and already turned to go, when he heard a quiet whisper. 

“That mutt totally has him totally captivated… It probably let’s him fuck it, so it can get extra treatment. That stray is so attention seeking-“

The vampire, who had just badmouthed Simon, stopped in his tracks and stumbled back, as Raphael rushed towards him, hissing and fangs bared. 

“What did you just say about me and Simon?“ He growled and the vampire, a new member of the clan called Erik, straightened himself, glaring back at their leader.

“I said that the mutt is so fucking _extra_. It comes in here and intrudes our family and thinks that we’ll love it, just because it looks _cute_. And you totally fell for it, probably already fucked it thoroughly, didn’t you?“

In a matter of seconds Raphael had Erik backed against the wall, hand wrapped tightly against the others throat, claws digging into the soft flesh. 

“How dare you speak to me like this? I may treat you as equals, but I’m still your _leader_. If I were in your place I wouldn’t forget that, _traitor_!“ Raphael spit out and Erik swallowed thickly. 

“Oh, now that someone insulted your precious pet, you have to go and be all _alpha_ … Why don’t you just let it bite you, than you can properly dominate it as one of them.“  
Raphael tightened his grip around the other vampires throat, his nails breaking the skin and blood spilling down Erik’s neck. 

“Continue speaking and I’ll rip your throat out.“ Raphael’s voice was ice-cold, most of the other vampires taking a step back.  
Raphael was right, they sometimes forgot why _he_ was their leader and in moments like this they were reminded again.  
He was strong, powerful, threatening and could be right out _scary_.  
Normally no one dared messing with him, but if someone did, Raphael put them into their place at ease. 

Erik seemed to finally understand that, too, and kept his mouth shut. 

Slowly Raphael let go of him. 

“Put him into a casket, seal it and leave him be for three days. I think that should be enough to remind this weakling, who he shouldn’t mess with.“ Raphael’s voice was still cold, an evil undertone in it, which wasn’t usual. 

Erik’s eyes widened. “But…“

Raphael interrupted him sharply. “Do you want your punishment to be harder?“ 

He shook his head. 

“Then shut up. Away with him.“ 

Raphael growled and two other vampires came up beside him, nodding towards their leader respectively and then dragged Erik out of the room into the `dungeons´. 

When he was away, Raphael sighed heavily, shoulders slumping down. 

“You are dismissed. Thank you for your understanding.“ 

The clan members left the room, some of them smiling at him, some even giving him a pat on the back until he was completely alone with Lily, which smiled slightly at him, too. 

“You handled him well. Could have been worse… He’ll think about it, the next time he has something to say against you.“

“But… isn’t he right? I’ve done so much for Simon and he’s a _werewolf_. I do give him special treatment, don’t I?“ 

Lily rolled her eyes.  
“You care about him, there’s nothing wrong with that. The fact that he’s from another species is subsidiary. This whole werewolf-vampire rivalry is unnecessary, anyway.“

Raphael snorted. 

“Why the sudden change of mind?“ He asked, knowing that Lily actually had a huge dislike of werewolves. 

She chuckled. “He’s cute. I can understand what you see in him.“ 

The Asian winked at him and Raphael spluttered, looking away. 

“I don’t know what you mean.“

“ _Sure…_ “ She grinned knowingly and Raphael scowled. “I’ll go now, look at some financial stuff or something. We’ll see each other later?“

Raphael nodded and then she was gone, leaving him behind with one question in his mind:  
Was he really that obvious?

Sighing he sped into the kitchen, filled himself a glass of blood and then walked to his room, quietly slipping into it. 

Simon was still laying in Raphael’s bed, but he wasn’t sleeping anymore.  
Instead he sat up, when Raphael entered the room, watching him with a stern look. 

“Are you ok?“ He asked quietly and Raphael frowned, taking a gulp of the blood in his hands. 

“Why shouldn’t I be?“

“You.. uh, you _smell_ upset.“ Simon blushed and scratched his neck, embarrassed. “It’s weird, all those advanced senses are very confusing.“ He mumbled and Raphael smiled slightly. 

“You’ll get used to it.“ Raphael answered, hoping to escape the actual question. Simon seemed to notice though, because he asked again. 

“So… are you upset?“

“It’s nothing. There was a small…conflict, when I told the clan that you’re able to change back now. I handled it.“

Simon looked away, swallowing hard. 

“I’m sorry… You shouldn’t have to fight with the clan members because of me.“ He mumbled.

“The guy was an asshole. I punished him for talking bad about you and me, but don’t worry. It’s not a bad thing, actually… The clan needed a reminder that I’m the leader, anyway. I’m too… gentle with them sometimes.“

Simon stared at him. 

“You… _punished_ someone, because they talked bad about me?“

“I, well, yes. He talked bad about _us_.“

Raphael sighed and downed the rest of blood in one go.  
When he looked up again, Simon had stood up and was now standing in front of him, his hands shaking slightly and his heart beating fast. 

“Is there an _us_?“ Simon asked shyly and Raphael choked. 

“I… what?“

“You said that they were talking bad about _us_. Is there an _us?_ “ He asked again and Raphael noticed a cute blush spreading over his face. 

“Do you… want there to be an _us_?“ Raphael asked softly, lifting his hand up to rest his palm against the boys cheek. He felt the werewolf lean into the touch and stepped closer, ignoring the excited feeling that rushed through his body as he took in how much taller Simon actually was than him. 

“Yes…“ Simon whimpered and they stared at each other of a second, before Simon leaned down and finally - _finally_ \- pressed his lips against Raphael’s.

Raphael gasped at the hot feeling and slipped one of his hands into Simon’s soft hair as he returned the kiss gently. 

Simon whimpered against his lips as Raphael scrapped his fingernails slightly over his scalp and then ran his tongue over Raphael’s lower lip, making the smaller man moan and part his lips. 

Another moan escaped Raphael as he felt Simon’s tongue exploring his mouth, his lips hot against Raphael’s and his fingertips burning against Raphael’s cold back, trough his thin shirt. 

Raphael deepened the kiss, returned the favor and licked into Simon’s mouth, the werewolf whining slightly and Raphael could feel him tremble, so he tightened his grip before biting down on Simon’s lower lip and then pulled back, grinning as Simon tried to chase his lips. 

“Well, I think there is an _us_ now…“ Raphael whispered and Simon giggled slightly, giving him a peck on the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, I think so, too.“ He mumbled and then nuzzled his face into Raphael’s neck, heating the cold skin with his hot breath.

Raphael smiled softly, holding the boy tight. 

Dios, this werewolf was going to be the death of him, but for now he didn’t care. For now he was just happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are so great, seriously, thank you so much to all of you, who leave kudos and comments! They make me want to continue writing!
> 
> -next chapter: Possessive babes, again...- 
> 
> Also: It finally happened. They kissed. Ugh, I'm not completely satisfied with how it turned out... Tell me if I disappointed you too much!


	8. And kiss me on the mouth and set me free; But please, don't bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Magnus, a party and an overprotective Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean... What can I say. I literally have no explanation for why this took so long other than that I had a writers block? But hey, I'm back guys! Yay?  
> This chapter is pretty long tho, I hope you like it :D
> 
> -not beta read-

Raphael grew more and more fond of Simon the more time passed on.  
He learned that the boy wasn’t only freakishly pretty and adorable, but also damn intelligent and sharp as well. He could also be a little sarcastic piece of shit, but Raphael quiet enjoyed their small banter sessions  
Simon was also a huge geek as it turned out - within a few days Raphael’s whole room was full of dvds, comics and Simon had somehow managed to get a guitar (how he did it was still a mystery to Raphael, but he suspected Lily).  
Raphael found out that Simon had studied accounting before the accident and although he found it boring, he was pretty good at it and so the werewolf was now responsible for the clan’s accounting.  
At the beginning he hadn’t been sure if it had been the right choice to trust the boy with that, but Simon did his job good - he worked carefully and thoroughly. 

But although Simon was starting to settle down in the hotel Dumort, Raphael was still worried.  
Panic and anxiety attacks were a daily issue and Simon still wouldn’t leave Raphael’s room. Most of the other vampires hadn’t even seen him in his human form, but to Raphael’s surprise they didn’t complain about it. Instead they even asked their leader about Simon’s well being and sometimes Raphael could convince the werewolf to go on a walk with him and Lily; in his wolf-form of course. 

Lily was the only clan member together with Raphael, who had seen Simon’s human form.  
She had walked in on them cuddling and her loud “I knew it!“ had startled Simon so much, Raphael had only barely prevented him from getting another panic attack.  
Lily had apologized after Raphael had shouted at her for about five minutes and Simon had smiled weakly, before waving it off.

Their relationship hadn’t really changed after the kiss.  
They did share kisses in Raphael’s room and Simon was being even cuddlier than before, but except from that it was quiet the same. Neither one of them took it further than slight making out and no one even dared to talk about feelings. The heavy bond of them not being the same kind hung between them and they both knew that it was a dangerous play for them to be together in secret. 

Three weeks had gone by and Raphael made a decision. 

“We are going out.“ He told his _boyfriend (?)_

Simon froze in his task of putting the papers on Raphael’s desk in order. He often helped the leader with his paperwork, since it often just got to much for one person to handle and Lily wasn’t always on hand either. 

“What?“ Simon asked with a small voice that reminded Raphael a lot of his wolfish whimpers. 

“I said, we are going out tonight.“ Raphael repeated himself and crossed his arms. “You can’t hide in here forever.“ 

He closed his eyes as he saw Simon’s lips trembling. 

“Baby, come on. It will do you good to get out of my room for once.“ He added with a soft voice and took Simon’s hand in his, his thumb caressing the younger boy’s palm. 

“I’m scared.“ Simon was shaking slightly, the words barely audible and Raphael sighed. 

“I know, baby, I know. But I’m with you, right? I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. Lily’s coming with us, too.“ Raphael pulled him closer and pressed a light kiss on his cheek. 

“They are going to make fun of me for being with you.“ Simon muttered and the vampire could see him trying to blink his tears away. 

“They might, that’s true. But if they make fun of you, they are making fun of me too and surely, not a lot of people want the New York vampire clan as their enemy.“ The last words came out like a snarl and Simon smiled softly. 

“Yeah, no one wants to get on Dracula’s bad side, right?“ He teased and Raphael fondly rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up. I’m a lot cooler than Dracula.“ He grumbled and Simon grinned, his arms slowly finding their way around Raphael’s neck. 

“Yeah… Cooler and a lot hotter, too.“    
Raphael blinked in surprise and then ducked his head, feeling a soft blush appear on his cheeks. 

“Oh my god, are you blushing? Holy shit, you _are_!“ Simon giggled slightly and Raphael hid his face in the taller boy’s neck. 

“Shut up, I’m not.“

“You totally are, stop lying! It’s cute though, no need to be embarrassed.“ 

Raphael glared at him. 

“I told you, I’m not cute.“

„Mhm, sureee…“ Simon drawled with a smug grin in his face and then pressed a soft kiss on Raphael’s lips. 

“We are still going out today, Simon.“ The vampire suddenly said and Simon averted his gaze, feeling caught.  
“You didn’t really think that you could sidetrack me that easily…“ 

Simon shrugged helplessly. “I mean it was worth the try.“ His expression changed again to somewhat fearful. “Do I really have to?“ He asked quietly and Raphael nodded. 

“Please? For me?“ He pressed a kiss to Simon’s neck and the werewolf whimpered slightly. 

“I have nothing to wear…“ He mumbled and Raphael chuckled. 

“That seriously is the smallest problem. You can wear my clothes. It’s not like you don’t do that already.“ Raphael grinned, tugging at his shirt that clung to the boys torso.

A small sigh escaped Simon’s throat before he nodded slowly. 

“Ok. I’m- I’m going out, but promise to stay with me?“ He looked so small at the moment and Raphael caressed his cheek with one hand. 

“I promise, baby. Don’t worry, I won’t leave your side.“ He backed away from Simon and turned towards his wardrobe. 

“Take a shower baby, I’m going to put an outfit for you together.“ 

Simon scrunched up his nose, but then shuffled over into the bathroom and a few minutes later Raphael heard the water rushing.

Half an hour later he emerged out of the bathroom again and Raphael spluttered slightly at the sight of his bare torso and still damp hair. 

“Here. Put that on.“ The older boy placed a bundle of clothes in Simon’s hand and then scurried into the bath himself. “Ask Lily if you need anything to do your hair.“ 

Simon nodded and Raphael closed the door behind him before hopping under the shower himself. 

He took his time to get ready. Raphael hadn’t been out for weeks and it was one of Magnus’ parties as well, which meant that he had to dress to impress. 

Therefore it took him fairly long to do his hair (and he may or may not put some eyeliner on, because it suited him damn well). He had decided to squeeze himself into tight black leather pants and a simple, but strait, white shirt paired with a black (and ridiculously expensive) leather jacket and high boots.  
Heavy rings accentuated his fingers and his cross necklace was on display for once when he stepped out of the bathroom. 

Simon had his back turned towards him but spun around on his heels when Raphael coughed. 

There was a short embarrassing moment in which they just stared at each other, before Simon blushed furiously and turned away. 

“You uhm- you look… you know- _hot!_ “ The werewolf suddenly spluttered and Raphael smirked. 

“You don’t look bad yourself, _baby_.“ He responded and didn’t miss the way Simon’s heartbeat quickened at the nickname. 

Raphael wasn’t lying in any way; Simon was looking even more attractive than ever in the clothes Raphael had lend him. 

The black, ripped skinny jeans looked tighter than they did on Raphael (but he wasn’t one to complain - Simon’s ass looked heavenly in them) and he was wearing a white t-shirt as well, a red bomber jacket hugging his shoulders nicely and a pair of black, simple sneakers on his feet.  
His hair was artfully ruffled and Raphael could see the hint of a soft brown eyeliner on his waterline. 

Simon shuffled a bit on his place under Raphael’s gaze. 

“Um… the eyeliner was Lily’s idea. She said something about a… `Magnus´? I think?“

Raphael grinned slightly. 

“Magnus is the host of the party. He’s… quite excessive, but a good friend of mine.“ 

Simon nodded and then cleared his throat. 

“Um. I- Are we going now?“ 

“Yes. Follow me.“ Raphael ordered and made his way through the hotel, to the back of it where Lily and a bunch of other vamps were already waiting in front of their bikes. 

Simon was trying to make himself small behind Raphael and the older boy squeezed his hand reassuringly as the clan members eyed him closely. Someone whistled and broke the tension the stares had created and everyone visibly relaxed. 

“The mutt cleans up well!“ A voice shouted from behind and Raphael flashed his teeth at the vampire in a dangerous grin. 

“Callate, his name is Simon.“ He called and the vampire fell silent, but Raphael could see a few others smirk knowingly. 

“Let’s go then.“ He announced and roar of a dozen motorcycles fulfilled the room as they took of. Lily winked at them as she drove past them, her blue hair swirling around her head.

Simon gaped at Raphael. 

“You never told me you had _motorcycles_!“ He said and Raphael smirked. 

“Guess it never came up.“ He walked over to his bike, a beautiful, black and shiny machine and swung his leg over the seat. 

“Hop on, baby, and hold on tight.“ He winked at the young werewolf and Simon carefully climbed onto the bike behind him, wrapping his arms around the elder boy’s waist, pressing his face against his back.

“I’m going to kill you, if you kill us.“ He mumbled into Raphael’s jacket and the vampire laughed out loud. 

“I’d like to see you try.“ 

Simon opened his mouth to respond, but instead of a snarky remark a yelp escaped him, because Raphael had suddenly started the machine and they were now racing out of the garage and down onto the dark streets of New York. 

Raphael loved riding his bike. He always felt so free and in a way it was like flying. He loved the icy wind blowing into his face, making his eyes tear up and ruffling his hair and at the moment he also enjoyed the way Simon was pressed against his back, the feeling of warmth against his body and his hot breath against Raphael’s neck as he shouted for joy. 

Raphael smirked and sped up the pace a bit more, the wheels squeaking noisily as he cut a curve.  
Simon behind him laughed openly and Raphael was sure that if he still head a heartbeat, it would have stopped. He hadn’t heard Simon laugh like this before. He had always heard him chuckle, grin, snicker and sometimes even giggle but never fully laugh.  
It was a beautiful sound. Light and joyful and in a way still so childish and young. Raphael was sure he’d never heard anything as wonderful as Simon’s laugh. 

He drove around another corner before he stopped and parked the bike next to a expensive looking car. Simon was still laughing when he hopped of the bike and Raphael smiled at him with a soft expression on his face. 

“Come on baby, let’s go inside.“ He said and Simon nodded, the smile disappearing within seconds. 

They walked towards the door and Raphael could feel how Simon entangled their fingers and squeezed the young werewolf’s hand soothingly. 

“It’s going to be ok.“ He mumbled and heard how Simon took in a shaky breath and the way his heartbeat sped up in anxiety and wanted nothing but take him into his arms and tell him that he wasn’t in danger.

Raphael pushed the door and got greeted by a tall broad guy that looked down on him with a growl. Raphael suppressed a groan; of course the first person they had to come across had to be a werewolf.  
Simon behind him whimpered and Raphael ran his thumb across the boys palm, hoping it would calm him down. 

“Let us in, we are VIPs.“ He snarled at the wolf, his fangs itching in his gums. 

“Show me the invitation and we can talk.“ The guy growled and Raphael gritted his jaw together. 

“Fuck off, you know who I am.“ He hissed and the other guy’s eyes flashed a poisonous green. 

“Say that again, you little bloodsucker.“ He grunted and Raphael was ready to jump him when a light voice interrupted them. 

“My, my… Raphael, I think this is a new record. You aren’t even at the party yet and already started a fight. Amazing, truly.“ 

Raphael rolled his eyes and jostled against the werewolf as he pushed past him. 

“Magnus.“ He greeted his friend and the warlock smirked. 

“As talkative as ever, oh how I missed you, my grumpy little cabbage.“ Magnus laughed at Raphael’s groan and pointed them into the right direction with a wave of his hand. 

“I guess you want to go to the VIP area right? You never were one to linger in the crowded places.“

Raphael wasn’t sure if he was supposed to respond to that; Magnus often talked without wanting an answer. He just always wanted you to listen and sometimes even quizzed his friends, when he thought they weren’t. It could be nerve wrecking. 

“By the way, who’s your little friend over here, Raphael?“ The warlock suddenly said and he could feel Simon tense.

They had arrived at the VIP area and Magnus showed them a place at a free couch. Raphael pushed Simon down onto it and sat down next to him, putting his hand possessively on the werewolf’s knee. 

“Magnus, this is Simon. Simon, this is Magnus.“ He introduced them after a short silence in which Magnus leaned back into his seat, a drink magically appearing in his hand. 

“What a nice introduction, you emotionless iceberg of a friend.“ Magnus clicked his tongue and then smiled at Simon. 

“I’m Magnus Bane, host of the party and one of Raphael’s best friends. Don’t ask me why, because I seriously don’t have a clue how the hell I’ve been keeping up with this bitter little shit.“

Simon smiled nervously and Raphael squeezed his knee. 

“I’m… Uhm. Simon. Lewis. I’m Raphael’s….“ He stopped and stared at Raphael questioning.  
Oh damn. Why didn’t he think about this earlier. Of course Magnus would ask after their relationship. What the hell was he supposed to say know? Where they boyfriends? I mean they kissed, that was a thing boyfriends did, right? And Raphael always felt warm and fuzzy inside when he looked at Simon and when they touched his skin tingled pleasantly. These were all boyfriendish things to do or as far as Raphael knew they were. 

Magnus was now looking at them with one eyebrow lifted and Raphael cleared his throat.

“We’re-“

“I’m-“ 

They broke of at the same time and Raphael urged Simon with a look to keep on talking. 

“I guess… we’re boyfriends?“ It was phrased like a question and a bright smile spread over Raphael’s face, his inside burning up pleasantly. 

Magnus gaped at them. 

“Boyfriends? Are you kidding me right now?Raphael Santiago? A _werewolf_ boyfriend? No offense.“ He added with a side look at Simon, who just shrugged awkwardly. 

“Don’t act so surprised. You’re the one who’s dating a shadowhunter.“ Raphael muttered and Magnus rolled his eyes. 

“Stop trying to change the subject! Why haven’t you told me earlier?“  
“I told you about Simon!“ 

“Wait, you did?“ Magnus frowned, clearly confused. “I’m not too drunk to already forget stuff, am I. Oh my- Wait.“ He suddenly drawled and leaned towards them.  
“Don’t tell me he’s the stray-babywolf you took in.“

Raphael grimaced and leaned back in his seat, sneaking an arm around Simon’s waist and pulling him closer. 

“Oh dear lord, he is. Congratulations, you two. I’m not exactly sure why the hell you’re thinking that dating Raphael is a good idea, but I’m happy as long as you two lovebirds are happy.“ Magnus flashed them both a grin and Raphael bared his fangs. 

“Fuck you.“ 

“I love you too, cabbage. But as you already mentioned, I _too_ have a boyfriend and he’s probably horribly missing me by now.“

Raphael lifted one eyebrow and watched Magnus as he stood up. 

“I’m sure he does.“ Raphael answered dryly and Magnus rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“Have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.“

“That leaves a hell lot of options.“

“I know.“ Magnus winked at Simon cheekily and then vanished.

“He seems…nice.“ Simon said slowly after a few seconds and Raphael huffed out a laugh. 

“You get used to him, believe me. Takes some time, though.“ He hesitated for a second before adding “Do you… want to dance.“

Raphael could see how Simon struggled with himself, but then nodded. 

“Yeah…Ok. Can we just… Maybe somewhere where there aren’t a lot of people?“ 

Raphael nodded and pressed a kiss against the anxious werewolf’s temple. 

“Of course baby.“ He stood and pulled Simon up with him. 

They made their way through the crowd, towards a relatively empty space at the end of the dance floor and Raphael sliding his arms around Simon, pulling him closer. 

Simon giggled slightly and started moving to the beat of the music, his body slightly grinding against Raphael’s, who had to bite back the moan that threatened to escape his throat. 

“And here I was, thinking you couldn’t dance.“ He breathed into Simon’s neck and started mouthing at the soft, already slightly sweaty skin. Simon snorted. 

“Should I be offended?“ 

Raphael grinned and then moved his lips towards Simon’s throat, biting at his jaw and then swallowing the younger boy’s groan with a hot kiss.  
His hands slid under Simon’s shirt, exploring the firm skin while he licked into his _boyfriend’s_ mouth, fangs sliding out of his gums and sinking into Simon’s bottom lip. 

He hissed and Raphael promptly pulled away, watching him with a concerned look. 

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t want to hurt you.“ He apologized worriedly, but Simon just gave him a sheepish grin. 

“Ah, don’t worry. It was kinda hot…“ He mumbled and Raphael watched as his tongue darted out to lick the blood of his open lip. 

He chuckled and pulled his face towards his own again as a loud voice from behind interrupted them. 

“Raphael Santiago… I mean I knew your standards were low, but a _mutt_? Seriously? Don’t you think a collar would be necessary or does it actually enjoy being your little fuck-toy?“ 

Raphael spun around on his heels, fangs bared and claws around the persons neck in a matter of seconds as he slammed them against the nearest wall with so much force the stone made a cracking sound. 

“Don’t ever think that I won’t be able to rip your throat out, you disgusting piece of shit.“ He snarled into the woman’s face and she choked slightly around his tight grip.  
“You say one more word against my boyfriend and your head and your body will be in a long-distance relationship.“

The vampire in front of him hissed and he squeezed her throat even more, imagining the way her words would turn into a gurgle if he’d dig his fangs into the soft skin of her neck, when a small voice interrupted his violent train thoughts. 

“Rafa… Please don’t.“ 

Raphael gritted his teeth together before he let the woman fall down onto the ground and turned towards Simon, who was watching him with shaking hands and a fearful expression on his face. 

“Simon, I’m-“ Simon sidestepped him as he wanted to take his hand and Raphael swallowed hard. 

“Please don’t touch me right now, Rafa.“ The werewolf said, his voice gentle but scared and Raphael bit on his tongue. 

Fuck. This was exactly why he didn’t do relationships. He always ended up hurting his partners and fucking everything up. 

“It’s not your fault, please don’t be angry.“ Simon whispered and Raphael smiled sadly at him. 

“I’m not angry at you, Simon. I’m angry at me for not thinking about what seeing me like this must have triggered in you.“ He answered and Simon averted his gaze. 

“Can we go home?“ Simon’s voice was so small and Raphael wanted to scream his frustration out, wanted everyone to hear how angry he was at himself. 

Simon had started to calm down, to settle in, fuck, he had nearly relaxed around this many people and now… Now Raphael felt as helpless as he did when he first found him. Magnus had been right, dating Raphael wasn’t a good idea, he always ruined everything. 

“Yeah, let’s go home.“ He said slowly, and started walking towards the exit, Simon following swiftly behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support I'm still getting although it's been ages since I've uploaded the last chapter. Some people asked about this fic on tumblr and I'm still getting kudos and everything. You guys seriously are the best people and I love you all!! 
> 
> I sadly have to announce that there's probably going to be only one more chapter (at least that's what I've planned for now), so I hope you like this second last chapter. 
> 
> -Next Chapter: Simon's POV-
> 
> Maybe visit me on tumblr @abluelightinthedark if you wanna talk about this guys or want information on what fics r coming next?


	9. Kiss me on the mouth... Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's POV and just... fluffy angst? Angsty fluff?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for all the people out there who haven't given up on this story yet.   
> I love you all.

Raphael slept alone that day; Simon curled up in the corner of his room in his wolf-form and Raphael felt awfully cold. He had nearly forgotten how it was to sleep without him since he’d gotten used to Simon’s comforting warm body pressed against his own. 

Simon didn’t feel a lot better either. The floor was uncomfortable in comparison to Raphael’s mattress.   
His nightmares haunted him horribly, waking him up more than one time and there was nothing he could do about it.   
During the last few weeks he had developed a method to keep them at bay, which basically consisted of him cuddling closer to Raphael and sniffling into his neck, while the vampire held him until he fell asleep again.   
But now that there was chilly air surrounding him instead of two strong arms Simon felt horribly small and nearly as scared as during the few days after he had been turned. 

Every time he closed his eyes all he saw were splashes of dark red, foam dripping onto his skin, sharp teeth breaking his bones, green eyes luring in the dark.   
So after a few hours of dozing off and waking up again after a few minutes barely able tu suppress his scared howling he just decided to stay awake. 

Laying his head onto his paws he watched Raphael sleepily, wondering if he had overreacted.   
Probably. He had a tendency to make things worse than they already were, but at the same time he just couldn’t forget how aggressive Raphael was when he slammed that woman into the wall.   
It reminded him too much of the way he got slammed into a wall, reminded him too much of the _monster_ that had been out of control when it turned him. 

Theoretically he knew that he just needed some time to calm down again and regain his trust. Clary would have probably told him to talk it out, tell Raphael how he felt so that they could both work through this together.   
But Clary wasn’t here. She probably thought that he was dead or something, since he hadn’t contacted any of his friends or family members after being turned.   
It hurt to even think about them, he missed them so much.   
Missed his mother, who made him his favorite pasta when he was sad and talked him through his anxiety attacks better than anyone.   
Missed his sister, who could always make him laugh and who _always_ had his back.  
Missed all of his friends, but of course Clary the most. Dear Clary, his best friend, whom he’d been in love with for as long as he could remember. Clary who was like his better half. Who always knew what he was thinking, who comforted and supported him no matter what. Clary who he didn’t love anymore now.   
Clary who he’d abandoned like literally everyone else from his “mundane“ life. 

He whimpered softly at the thought of it before pushing the thought aside. There were different thing to worry about like for example the fact that he was laying on the floor while his _boyfriend_ was sleeping a few feet away in thei- _his_ bed. 

Simon wasn’t even sure if they even were boyfriends anymore. He hoped so, because honestly that would even be a record for him: Losing your boyfriend the same day you finally got to actually call him your boyfriend. 

But then again: It would have been his own fault.   
Raphael had only wanted to protect him and he had been the one to freak out because of it. Simon tried very hard to not blame himself for panicking, because there was nothing to blame, but it wasn’t as easy as he wished it to be.   
Instead of confronting the issue he hid in his wolf-form which was just embarrassing and weak now that he thought about it.

A whine escaped him and his head shot up as he heard the sheets in Raphael’s bed shuffle.   
His whole body tensed as Simon watched the vampire sit up before crawling out of the bed and walking towards him. 

Raphael’s naked feet made barely any sound on the hard floor and even as he sat down in front of Simon there was silence filling up the room.

“Did you get any sleep at all?“ Raphael suddenly asked after a few moments of just awkwardly staring at each other. There was a soft expression on his face and a look in his eyes Simon couldn’t quite place, but he still answered Raphael’s question with a tiny motion of his head and the vampire sighed slightly. 

“You need to sleep. It’s not healthy for you anyway that you’re adapting the vampire lifestyle, so the last thing you need is a sleep deprivation.“ He explained and Simon made a motion that seemed to be the wolf equivalent of shrugging.

“Do you…“ Raphael broke off, seeming unsure. Simon couldn’t blame him, he was unsure, too. 

“Do you want to come to bed?“ The vampire finally managed to get out and it hurt Simon how he almost looked ashamed for asking.   
To his own surprise Simon nodded after a few seconds. 

Raphael let out a clearly relieved breath before stood up again and gracefully sliding into the bed.   
Considering for a moment Simon got on his feet too before changing back into his human form and then shyly climbing under the covers next to Raphael. 

They were facing each other, Raphael watching him with sharp eyes. 

“Sorry…“ Simon mumbled quietly and the vampire frowned.

“Why would you be sorry?“   
Now it was on Simon to frown. 

“I’m… Because of my behavior? I acted like a child, just pushing you away and overreacting.“ He said and Raphael smiled sadly at him, before carefully brushing a few strands of hair out of Simon’s face. 

“You did nothing wrong, bebé. It was me who overreacted because of that other vampire. I should be the one apologizing for acting without thinking about how it might affect you. So… will you forgive me?“ 

Simon blinked. That wasn’t what he had expected, but now that he thought about it he wasn’t sure why. Raphael had never been anything but gentle with him, had always tried his best to make SImon feel comfortable.   
Suddenly he felt stupid for being scared and let out a choked of sound before wrapping his arms around the vampire, hugging him closely. 

Raphael relaxed in his arms and then hugged him back, murmuring soft words into Simon’s ear while Simon hid his face in the other boy’s neck, quite sobs escaping him. 

“Let’s go to sleep, baby. We’ll talk tomorrow.“ Raphael whispered after a few minutes, but it didn’t sound like a thread and more like a promise. 

Simon smiled thankfully and then, in a sudden rush of confidence, pressed a short kiss to the others lips before cuddling into his chest and falling asleep in the matter of seconds. 

This time the nightmares left him alone.

____

When he woke up in the evening the rest of the bed was empty.   
For a second Simon panicked, not able to remember how he had even gotten into the bed but then the events of the day came rushing back and he groaned, hiding his face in the pillow he had slept on. 

He was so not looking forward to this conversation Raphael had promised him, but he knew that it was probably necessary so he tried to accept it. 

A look at the clock told him that it was already pretty late, which explained why Raphael was already up and probably doing important clan leader stuff.   
It took Simon a few more minutes before he managed to convince himself to get up and take a shower. 

Raphael’s bathroom was honestly the most luxurious thing Simon had ever seen in his entire life and he absolutely loved using all the hot water to shower, fogging up the whole room.   
Somehow they hadn’t managed to buy Simon his own bathroom essentials (except for a toothbrush) so he just used Raphael’s shampoo and shower gel, as well as his clothes. 

Simon took his time showering, thoroughly soaping himself with the citrusy body wash Raphael used, too. When he had finished and dried himself up he slipped into a pair of comfortable sweatpants and one of Raphael’s looser shirts, which was still pretty tight on Simon himself, since the vampire was in fact smaller than him, even though he seemed to ignore that fact most of the time. 

His stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten yet, but Raphael wasn’t back when Simon stepped into the bedroom again, so his only option was to wait, because he still wasn’t allowed to walk around by himself in the hotel.   
Most of the other vampires were friendly and accepted him more or less, but he could feel that they didn’t trust him completely and Simon didn’t blame them. He wouldn’t trust himself either if he were in their situation. 

Sighing slightly he looked around the room, searching for something to do and after a while he just settled for cleaning up Raphael’s desk.   
Sometimes the vampire would leave him some paper work to do on the table, but today there was nothing, so he just organized the mess Raphael had left yesterday.   
After he finished cleaning the desk he cleaned the rest of the room, made the bed, even dusted off the huge bookshelf that stood in one corner of the room. 

Having lost track of time he was surprised that he had been working for three hours already when he looked at the clock again and then flopped down onto the sofa, grabbing the guitar Lily had brought him when she had found out that he could play it a few weeks ago. 

Softly plucking at the strings he started strumming a gentle melody, nothing special just trying out and experimenting for once.   
Simon loved music. He would have studied it if his mother hadn’t forced him to study accounting, because “it would be easier to find a job".   
Not that he’d ever find a job ever again... He hadn’t really thought about it, mostly tried to push it away, but he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he wasn’t a mundane anymore. 

He couldn’t come near mundanes yet without fearing to lose control and attacking them for whatever reason, but he also couldn’t learn how to control his urges because he was living with vampires, who were actually supposed to be his natural enemies.   
The other thing was that living with them had fucked up his normal usual way of living a lot, because he had adapted to sleeping during the day and being awake during the night for the sake of spending time with Raphael. 

His relationship with Raphael was a mystery itself, too.   
There was some sort of Romeo and Juliet thing going on because of their different… _races_. Plus: Raphael was immortal and Simon was definitely not.   
And… after yesterday he wasn’t even sure if they were still together or not. Sure, they had sort of made up after Simon had gotten into the bed with him again, but there was also the talk Raphael wanted to have with him and that could mean all sorts of things.   
Maybe he wanted to break up with him? Oh god, Simon hadn’t even considered this. He probably wanted to break up with him. And throw him out of the hotel. Why wouldn’t he? Simon was a burden anyway and overreacting during the party wasn’t exactly making it better. 

Suddenly someone touched his shoulder and Simon flinched, getting pulled out of his thoughts abruptly. 

“Simon, calm down.“ Raphael’s soothing voice pierced through his foggy mind and Simon blinked hectically for a few times until his vision focused again. 

Raphael was crouching in front of him, one hand tightly gripping Simon’s shoulder, his eyes staring directly into Simon’s soul.   
Only now did Simon notice that he had been crying and how he had clutched the guitar against his chest frantically. 

“You with me, bebé?“ Raphael asked him and the werewolf nodded, taking in a shaky breath.

“Sorry…“ He choked out after a few seconds, but Raphael just shook his head before taking the guitar out of Simon’s hands and putting it aside so that he could sit next to him onto the sofa. 

“Don’t apologize.“ The vampire demanded and Simon shrunk under his intense gaze, only barely biting back another apology. 

The look in Raphael’s eyes softened and he pushed something into Simon’s hands, who frowned for a second but then smelled the scent of Chinese take out food and looked down onto the small box in his lap.

“Thank you.“ Simon smiled slightly at Raphael and promptly got a smile back.

Stuffing his mouth full with noodles and vegetables Simon nearly moaned around the food, earning him a smirk from the other boy and resulting in him blushing. 

They sat in silence for the time it took Simon to finish his breakfast/lunch and when Simon finally pushed the empty box away from him Raphael was watching him with a careful expression. 

“Do you want to tell me why you were crying?“ The vampire asked after a few more seconds and Simon awkwardly shrugged. 

“I’m not even sure myself? I just… I thought— It’s stupid.“ He said and Raphael rolled his eyes, before gently taking Simon’s hand into his. 

“Your feelings are never stupid, Simon.“ Raphael seemed serious and it made Simon feel even more ashamed for his own thoughts. 

“I… Ithoughtmaybeyoudbreakupwithmeandthrowmeoutofthehotelbecauseofwhathappenedattheparty.“ He mumbled. 

Raphael blinked at him, eyes squinting slightly in confusion and his mouth hanging slightly open. 

“Simon, calm down. Now please repeat that to me again and I would be extremely thankful if you could do it in a speed I’m actually able to understand.“ The vampire had a playful smirk on his face. Simon could feel his face heat up again, wrinkling his nose in embarrassment. 

“I thought you might want to break up with me — I mean if we’re even still together at all — and throw me out of the hotel, because of what happened at the party.“ The werewolf finally told the other boy quietly and Raphael seemed shocked. 

“You… You thought I’d break up with you and _throw_ _you_ _out_ _of_ _the_ _hotel_?“ He repeated what Simon had just admitted and Simon suddenly couldn’t bear looking at him anymore.

Instead of giving him an answer he just sort of shrugged, his gaze fixated on his hands, which were nervously twitching in his lap. 

“Simon.“ Raphael’s voice was quiet and Simon couldn’t make sense out of it. Was he disappointed? Was he angry? Was he—

“Simon, look at me.“ The vampire asked him, but Simon didn’t move his gaze from his lap until Raphael tilted his head upwards with a hand on Simon’s chin.  
“You did nothing wrong, ok? You have to believe me. You were neither overreacting nor am I blaming you for your reaction. I should have had myself under control. I shouldn’t just… let my anger take over my senses, but believe me I was angry.“ Raphael admitted slowly, hesitating for a second. “The way that woman talked about you, it— it disgusted me. I couldn’t bear hearing her insult you like this, not after everything you’ve been through.“ He took in a deep breath. “Not after everything you’ve released in me. I’d never throw you out and I don’t want to _break_ _up_ with you. If you still want me of course?“

Simon could feel his lips quivering, he knew he was at the edge of starting to cry again.  
How did he deserve this man in front of him? How did he deserve someone this gentle, soft and caring? How did Raphael choose him of all people? He had been told that Raphael didn’t catch feelings very easily, that it was hard to even build up a friendly relationship. What had Simon done to be able to call Raphael _more_ than a friend? 

Simon leaned forwards, a tiny smile on his face, his expression full of emotions he couldn’t express. 

“Of course I want you. I could never not want you, Raphael, even if I tried.“ He whispered before shakily pressing first their lips together and then their foreheads. 

Raphael was cupping his face with his hands by now, his thumbs drawing soft patterns onto his cheeks. 

“I think…“ He paused, seeming taken aback by his own thoughts before he closed his eyes and then smiled. Simon had never in his life seen a more beautiful smile before. “I think I’m in love with you.“ 

This time Simon couldn’t prevent his tears from spilling. 

“I think I love you, too, Raphael.“ He whispered and then connected their lips again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo.... yeah. Happy New Year?   
> I'm sorry that this took so long. I also thought that this would be the last chapter but as you can see it isn't. I'm pretty sure there's only one more chapter to come which might be a sort of epilogue or maybe not. We'll see. I'll try to put it up as fast as possible cause you deserve it.
> 
> So next time we'll have Raphael's & Simon's POV :)
> 
> Your kudos and comments mean the world to me, they are what made me sit down and start writing again. 
> 
> Visit me on tumblr @abluelightinthedark and scream at me to update my fics :P
> 
> (I haven't edited this yet, I'll read over it tomorrow)


	10. Please don't BITE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epiloge; it's getting rough and steamy, but the one has nothing to do with the other...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some graphic violence, so be warned.

It was the middle of the night and they were walking through Central Park together. 

Simon had been living at the hotel for a few months now and had gotten a bit more relaxed when it came to going out.  
He still only left the hotel when Raphael was with him, but by now he could walk around the hotel alone without getting an anxiety attack whenever he saw one of the clan members. 

Raphael had convinced him to go for a walk together, because spring was slowly approaching and in his eyes, Simon needed some fresh air. On the contrary to the vampires he actually had to breathe, which had been a good enough argument to make Simon agree. Maybe it had also had something to do, with the fact that the both of them hadn’t had a lot of alone time together this week and Simon was desperate to be near him. 

At the moment Simon was excitedly talking about a movie he wanted to watch with Raphael, their fingers interlocked.  
Raphael had been right — the fresh air was doing wonders to Simon’s mood. It had been a while since he had actually been outside of the hotel, his anxiety keeping him a prisoner in Raphael’s room. 

A soft breeze was ruffling Simon’s hair and he was glad that he wore his jacket, because on the contrary to his boyfriend, he could actually feel the cold.  
Raphael was wearing a little more casual clothes than he usually did, leaving Simon stunned every time he looked at him.

Instead of a suit and dress shirt he wore a leather jacket, paired with jeans and one of the graphic shirts Simon had purchased over the course of his stay at the DuMort.

“Simon?“ Raphael frowned up at him in confusion and Simon could feel himself blushing furiously. 

“Sorry… I got distracted.“ He mumbled, embarrassed about how he had just stopped talking and started staring at the vampire. 

“It’s alright, baby. Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?“ 

Simon grinned awkwardly, his grip around Raphael’s hand tightening. 

“You. As usual.“ He said, waiting for Raphael to roll his eyes. 

He did indeed roll his eyes before pocking Simon into his side. 

“I hope you’re only thinking good things about me.“ 

Simon chuckled and stopped walking to look at Raphael properly.  
The vampire was smirking up at him, his hair tousled and slightly curly hanging into his face. He could see the moon behind him reflected in Raphael’s dark eyes, his long lashes casting shadows onto his cheeks. 

“I was thinking about how pretty you are and that I’m unbelievably lucky to have you.“ Simon finally mumbled after a few more seconds of silence and Raphael’s smirk faltered, being replaced by a shy smile.

It hadn’t taken long for Simon to find out that it only took a heartfelt compliment to make the faintest blush appear on Raphael’s high cheekbones, which seemed to basically be the vampire equivalent to turning completely red. 

“You’re such a sap…“ Raphael muttered, his gaze soft and loving as he leaned up to press a gentle kiss against Simon’s lips. 

Sliding his hand into the smaller boys hair Simon prevented Raphael from backing away again and instead parted his lips to deepen the kiss. He could feel Raphael smiling slightly at his attempt to start a proper make-out session in public before he broke the kiss and brought a bit space between them.

Simon giggled slightly at Raphael’s dazed look, then tugged him closer again, wrapping his arms around the boy. 

“I love you.“ He whispered into the quiet of the night, his chin resting on top of Raphael’s hair. 

“Love you, too, baby, but I’d also love to not suffocate, so please get off me.“ Raphael told him, his voice muffled by the material of Simon’s jacket. 

“You’re a vampire, you can’t suffocate, you drama queen!“ Simon laughed as Raphael grunted slightly instead of answering and then grabbed his hand again to continue their walk. 

“It’s quiet.“ Raphael stated after a few moments and Simon frowned slightly.

“Yeah, and? It’s the middle of the night and we’re in central park, what did you expect?“ He chuckled, but his boyfriend didn’t seem amused and silenced him with a finger on his lips. 

“No, you don’t understand. It’s _too_ quiet. Even if it’s the middle of the night, New York never sleeps and Central Park doesn’t either. There’s always some idiots running around, selling drugs, robbing people. This is not normal.“ 

Simon tensed at Raphael’s words, his instincts kicking in. His minds reaction to danger was turning, but he tried frantically to keep himself from doing so. 

Raphael must have noticed, because he let go of Simon’s hand and instead grabbed his shoulder, grip tight. 

“Don’t fight it, baby. It’s safer if you turn.“ He told him quietly, his voice calm and gentle, making Simon relax visibly. 

He nodded slightly and let the wolf in him take over. By now the transformation was barely painful anymore, just a bit weird and he closed his eyes, only opening them again after his mind had cleared. 

The perks of being in his wolf from still creeped him out, if he had to be honest, but Raphael had taught him how to control them, since vampires had similar traits like night-vision and advanced hearing. 

A hand petting his back made Simon yelp slightly in surprise, but Raphael shushed him softly. 

When Simon looked up at his boyfriend he had his fangs bared and his body was tense — ready to fight if he had to.  
Swallowing the fear that threatened to overcome him Simon braced himself, too, his ears set back and his snarl showing off his sharp teeth.

It was still suspiciously quiet except for the faint sound of cars and Simon could hear his own heartbeat taking up speed the more time passed.  
Raphael hadn’t been wrong. This wasn’t normal. Instead it reminded Simon of the time he was bitten and he tried to push the thought away and concentrate on the seriousness of the situation.

Suddenly there was the sound of quiet steps to be heard behind them and they both spun around, growling at their opponent. 

And one hell of an opponent it was.  
Had Simon thought before that this scenario kind of reminded him of the time he was bitten, he now felt transported back in time. 

The wolf in front of them was nearly twice as big as Simon himself, his fur was bloody and gross, his claws were digging into the ground and white foam was dripping down on them out of his mouth as he eyed them with a furious look on his face.

Raphael was hissing at the creature, probably trying to scare it away even though Simon was pretty sure that he knew that the monster wouldn’t just surrender now that it had picked them as it’s prey. 

Simon wanted nothing more than just turn around and run, run away as fast as he could — his basic instincts to submit to the stronger creature were kicking in, but the thought of leaving Raphael to his own faint kept him by his boyfriends side. 

For a second they just stared at each other, his golden eyes fixated on the horrific red eyes of the other wolf, before it moved with a speed Simon hadn’t expected.  
And apparently neither had Raphael, because to Simon’s unpleasant surprise the wolf didn’t attack him but the vampire first — hitting his chest and knocking him down onto the ground, his long, yellowish fangs only a few inches away from Raphael’s throat. 

Where Simon had been scared shitless before he now felt furious at the view in front of him.  
He wanted to blame the wolf in him, but deep down he knew that it actually was the protective boyfriend acting out at this moment, making his blood boil and banishing every fear of getting hurt. 

He jumped forwards, crashing against the other wolf and pushing him from Raphael. For a second they rolled around on the ground, strong jaws snapping at each others neck and their claws digging through fur and into skin, leaving bloody marks and burning wounds. 

The other wolf was still stronger than Simon though and managed to pin him down, its weight nearly crushing Simon’s ribcage as it leaned down, breath smelling sick and poisonous.  
Out of the corner of his eye Simon could see Raphael getting ready to attack again and in the matter of seconds the werewolf was getting flung against the nearest tree, a horrific crack passing through its body that made Simon flinch. 

It didn’t seem to have any visible effect on the werewolf though, instead it just picked himself up again and growled at them, blood smeared around its snout.

Simon growled back at it and they started running towards each other at the same time, jumping and crashing against each other. This time Simon had managed to hit the other one so that it went flying backwards, Simon landing on top of it, claws digging into its throat.  
The werewolf howled in pain, but kept on trying to bite into Simon’s face or throat and Simon knew he didn’t have any other choice but kill it.  
Kill or be killed, his mind told him and he closed his eyes as he opened his mouth to sink his teeth into the wolf’s throat, but he got hauled off of it. 

In shock he watched Raphael holding the werewolf down with one hand before he slashed its throat with his nails, blood splashing onto his skin and clothes as the wolf stopped moving. 

Forcing himself to concentrate on turning back again, Simon held his breath and slowly felt himself put on his human form again.  
When he opened his eyes again, Raphael was standing in front of him, a disgusted look in his eyes as he tried to wipe a bit of the blood on his face away. 

“Are you alright?“ The vampire questioned carefully, the words rolling of his tongue slowly. 

Simon wanted to nod, but then he just shrugged, not exactly sure what the hell he actually felt at the moment. He didn’t want to think about it to much and suddenly he felt really _really_ tired. 

Raphael pulled him closer, pressing a kiss on his cheek before tugging him into a hug, his hand gently rubbing over Simon’s back.  
Only now did the werewolf notice that he was shaking, a small sob escaping him while he buried his face in the crook of Raphael’s neck. 

“Shhh, it’s ok. You’re safe, I’m safe, baby. I need to contact Garroway and then we’ll go home, yes? You just need to hold on for a few minutes, can you do that for me?“ Raphael whispered softly and Simon nodded slightly, but didn’t stop clinging to Raphael’s chest, soaking his shirt with silent tears.

He could feel how his boyfriend fumbled for his phone and then he heard him quietly taking to the person on the other end of the line, but Simon didn’t care. He just wanted home, he wanted to get away from the body, from the scent of sick blood, away from the memories. 

It actually only took Raphael a few minutes to sort the situation out on the phone and when he hung up he seemed tired. 

“Garroway’s pack will take care of this. We can go home now, baby.“ He explained and Simon gave him a tiny smile.  
Raphael pressed another kiss on his cheek before scooping Simon up into his arm.  
A yelp escaped him and he slung his arms around Raphael’s neck, holding onto him tightly as Raphael started running. His vamp-speed made it possible for them to get to the DuMort in the matter of minutes and even though Simon felt slightly sick after their sprint he was glad for it.

Raphael had slowed down to open the door, but didn’t put him down until they were in the safety of Raphael’s room, away from the other clan members and their curious gazes and questions.

A cold hand against Simon’s cheek made him snap out of his thoughts and he stared at Raphael, who was staring back with a concerned look in his eyes. 

“I pulled you away from him, because I didn’t want you to have the burden of another murder on you.“ The vampire said suddenly after a few long moments of silence and Simon slumped against him. 

“Thank you.“ He whispered and to his own surprise his voice wasn’t shaking, but instead calm and collected. 

Raphael seemed surprised, too, because he frowned and squeezed Simon’s hand slightly before straightening himself.

“I’m ok, Rafa.“ Simon told him softly.

The vampire sighed slightly, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something but instead he just nodded, before walking towards his bathroom. 

“I’m going to take a quick shower.“ He stated and Simon nodded, before looking at himself. He was quite roughed up and bloody, too.  
But he just couldn’t bring himself to ask Raphael if he could join him. 

In the few months they had been together, Simon had become familiar with Raphael being not only gay, but also on the asexual spectrum.  
Even though Raphael had told him that there were times when he didn’t mind sex, Simon still felt too self-conscious to initiate anything himself since he didn’t want to make his boyfriend uncomfortable. 

Raphael rarely craved sex though and therefor Simon could count the times they had actually done anything remotely sexual on one hand. 

So Simon just let it be and while Raphael showered he made his way to Lily’s room, asking her if he could clean himself up in her bathroom.  
Their relationship had gotten better over the course of the months and Simon considered her a friend, so he was comfortable enough to just ask that and she didn’t seem to mind either, since she let him.

 

—POV change—

 

Raphael walked out of the door in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his hair still damp and messy and a thoughtful expression on his face. 

On the one hand he was still worried about Simon, because he had seemed so calm about the whole incident. _Too_ _calm_.  
But on the other hand he had also seen the look in Simon’s eyes as he had left to go shower and Raphael might be ace, but even he had been able to identify it as nothing other but sexual. Which was just confusing, to be honest? But then again, he rarely felt any sexual desire anyway, so he didn’t really have a say in that. 

Did he feel opposed to having sex with Simon? No, definitely not. Would he have sex with Simon if the other one initiated it? Yes. Would Simon every admit to wanting sex? Probably not. 

Raphael could see it in the way Simon examined him as he walked into the bedroom, but he didn’t know how to tell Simon that it was ok to feel like this, that it was nothing to be ashamed of and that it didn’t make him comfortable in any way. So he just tried to start a conversation with him. Maybe it would work out and Simon would take the hint, but Raphael wasn’t so sure of that. 

“How are you, baby?“ He purred softly and slid into Simon’s lap, who’d been sitting on the bed, apparently having taken a shower, too. 

A smirk tugged on Raphael’s lips as he heard Simon’s heartbeat speeding up at the way he had pronounced his nickname and it took his boyfriend a few seconds until he finally answered his question. 

“Alright? I don’t know, to be honest. I don’t really want to think about it at the moment, though…“ He admitted and Raphael nodded understandingly, being to familiar with the feeling. Killing wasn’t something he did often or could easily reconcile with his conscience. Usually he took his mind off of it through paperwork, but he definitely had nothing against mixing up his routine and building his boyfriend into it. 

“I understand. Maybe I can… help you take your mind off of it?“ Raphael muttered in what was hopefully a suggestive manner.  
Apparently Simon had understood his intention very well, because his eyes widened comically wide, a few unintelligible words escaping his mouth. 

Raphael rolled his eyes at his boyfriend lovingly before capturing his lips with his own, affectively shutting him up and instead melt into the kiss.  
The werewolf hands slid to Raphael’s hips, fingers digging into the firm skin as Raphael deepened the kiss with a tilt of his head, his tongue parting Simon’s lips and exploring his mouth. 

Simon’s grip tightened as Raphael bit down on his lower lip slightly, a tiny moan escaping him before he pulled away, forcefully keeping Raphael on distance, who tried to connect their lips again. 

“I… Rafa, do you— This is… I’m not sure, are you— Do you _want_ this?“ He stuttered and Raphael smiled softly, a warmth spreading in his stomach as he saw how scared his boyfriend was of making him uncomfortable. 

“Yes, baby, I want this. I’m not blind, you know? I noticed how you were watching me… And if I weren’t ok with this I wouldn’t have started it in the first place.“ He explained and Simon relaxed visibly.

“I’m… ok. Sorry.“ He smiled apologetically and Raphael chuckled, his hand sneaking under the loose shirt Simon was wearing. 

***

Cuddling closer to his boyfriend, Raphael yawned slightly, pushing a few strands of hair out of Simon’s face, who had his arms loosely draped around Raphael’s body.

“Thank you.“ Simon whispered and Raphael kissed him softly instead of giving an answer. He wasn’t sure if Simon was thanking him for the sex or for taking his mind off of the attack from earlier, but he didn’t really care. 

“I love you, Simon.“ He mumbled and the werewolf closed his eyes, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I love you, too, Raphael, and I always will. I’ll love you till death do us part.“ 

Raphael closed his eyes, too. 

“Till death do us part and even longer. I’ll love you for the rest of my immortal life, for as long as you’re with me and for as long as I’ll have to walk this earth alone.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT, GUYS. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER; I FINALLY FINISHED IT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT MYSELF! I'm kind of sad to be honest, because i this fic really is dear to my heart.
> 
> A special thank you to everyone who's been with me since the beginning. I can't thank you enough for your patience.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this journey as much as I did and I'd be delighted if you left some kudos and comments if you did. 
> 
> I also hope we'll see each other on my next fic, but meanwhile you can find me @ abluelightinthedark on tumblr! 
> 
> !I LOVE YOU A LOT, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS!


End file.
